We set out on this non-league tour with the goal of seeing every team before my 27th birthday in October. It was surprisingly disappointing then when the end of the season arrived and we hadn't managed to complete the tour.
A shame because the only ground that we failed to get to was that of Great Wakering, and there was even the chance to see them play at home on the penultimate weekend of the regular season meaning we would have completed the set of Non-League grounds in Essex that we were after way ahead of schedule. However, days before that fixture I was invited on a trip to Spain, and after thinking my decision over for all of 10 seconds I begrudgingly accepted the free holiday.
Still, next season will bring some new teams for us to see, as we'll add to our list those teams that were promoted from the Essex Senior League, not to mention Great Wakering being the first team we go to see.
It's not yet entirely clear who we need to view yet, websites at this level are infuriatingly out of date, or just refuse to load but we can speculate that we may be travelling to either Enfield, Stansted or Witham as those were the top 3 teams in that league for 2010/11.
And after that? I really need to find something else to fill my Saturday's. Perhaps a tour of Non-league teams in Kent? Hmm... now there's an idea.
Sunday 15 May 2011
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Waltham Abbey v Waltham Forest
The penultimate game of our tour saw us embarking along the M25 in search of Waltham Abbey's tiny ground 'Cappershots'. With the prospect of a fairly long journey and the need to locate a decent pub to view the Manchester derby after the game, we set off with plenty of time in hand resulting in us arriving at the ground an hour before kick-off. Not a problem we thought, we've been to many a game with time to kill and have always found something to keep us entertained. Not so at Waltham though.
We arrived to find that the ground wasn't actually open yet, and were in fact a little bemused as to where the entrance was. Sure, there was something resembling a turnstile in front of us, but all signs seemed to point to alongside the stadium, with green painted footprints on display for those that cannot read I presume. I followed those footprints step for step only to be lulled into a cul-de-sac and have to embarrasingly retrace my steps to the original entrance.
By now there was something resembling life going on, as at 2.10 a man was opening the turnstile whilst another stapled todays fixture to a board. We were officially the first paying customers to enter the tiny ground that day, and would be eventually followed by a further 67 foolhardy followers. Attendances must be regularly low here as the guy selling tickets wasn't actually sure what the prices were. Eventually I was made to part with £8 and I was in, ready to explore.
With a good 45 minutes to spare there wasn't actually too much to look at. There was no clubshop, no tea bar (ludicrous!), and only one small toilet. There was one stand, about 4 rows deep running about half the length of the pitch, and the rest was standing. A grassy knoll existed in one corner, with a sign telling us we couldn't stand there, and that was about it. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of mis-placed signs here. Along with the misleading entrance, there was a sign for gents and ladies toilets, situated above a small bush. Perhaps that was the place to go but seeing as that bush was on full view of the pitch, I decided that I'd never choose to drop my trousers there, and quickly moved on.
So what else to do in an almost empty stadium with more than 30mins to kick-off? Have a sit down of course. We wandered over to the sole stand, passing a footballer pissing against a fence along the way (as you do), and being less than impressed with the state of the pitch, but amused by the obviously drunken groundsman who had marked out the boundaries. The seating arrangements were also not quite right with numbers and rows definitely not matching up. We sat in row 4. Or row 30, if Waltham Abbey were to have you believe.
Agitated by a few young fans nearby, and increasingly hungry due to the lack of food on offer, we decided to get away from everyone and watch the game from next to the dugouts, the layout of the ground meaning we'd be looking down slightly on the pitch as well. Things had started poorly here, and only a great game would change our mood. The home side were sitting comfortably in mid-table and were taking on the team bottom of the league, who have conceded 78 times this season already so we were expecting goals.
And we were not to be disappointed as the two Waltham's played out a memorable 5-4 thriller. This sort of match is what non-league football is all about. It took just 9 minutes for Abbey to take the lead, as Emmanuel Oesi nipped in from a flick, past a static defence who were waiting for a flag that was never going to come. Sure, already it was all route one stuff from the home side, but it was proving effective against a sluggish back line.
Undeterred, Forest hit back just 2 minutes later. More good work from right midfielder Joel Palmer, who had already started brightly, and an eventual cross from the right and it was tucked home by Midfielder Healy for the equaliser.
Now, despite being level, the away dugout were obviously displeased with the way their defence were playing, and one centre-back 'Joel' seemed to be taking most of the flak. In fairness to Joel his body may have seen better days, and he was certainly finding it difficult to keep up with the pace of the game, but despite being dragged out of position on the odd occasion, he was giving it his all, this point backed up by poking his tongue out in concentration each time play edged his way. But incredibly, after one bit of 'advice'
too far from the sidelines, Joel decided he'd had enough and started walking off the pitch at the exact same time as Abbey were launching another attack. We'd never seen anything like it, especially so early on in the game. Remarkably Forest managed to avert the danger despite having being a centre-back down, but it didn't last.
In fact, just 6 minutes later and now only 30mins into the game the Home team had scored two quick fire goals to move into a commanding 3-1 lead. More calamatous defending, first to concede an needless free-kick, and then moments later a mix up between the back line and their keeper, being all the invitation that was needed.
It very soon got worse for Forest. An attempted swing at the ball in his own area from Palmer, saw the ball spin up his body and strike his arm. With nobody within 5 yards of the player, it seemed a really harsh decision to award a penalty, but by the letter of the law, perhaps the referee was correct, and with 5 minutes until half time it was now 4-1.
Down, but not out, Forest kept going and on the stroke of half time they were back in it, Palmer making amends for his mistake for the 4th goal by tapping in from close range to make it 4-2. All they had to do was see out injury time and re-group for the second half. Not to be though, as Abbey immediately restored their 3 goal margin after a fantastic chest and looping strike on the half-volley from easily 25 yards out. 5-2 at the break. Incredible!
Waltham Forest came out a different side in the second half. Well, a slightly improved side at least. We were a touch surprised to see Joel trotting out after his first half sulk, but he remained focused on the game and helped his team to a second half clean-sheet. In truth it was probably more Abbey who took their foot off the pedal, and they were probably still not too concerned when they conceded a 3rd after 65 minutes, when Zesh Bennet powered through and finished well with the aid of a deflection.
The game seemed to be petering out at 5-3 when with full-time fast approaching there was a tangle in the Abbey box resulting in left-back Daveney (who had look composed all game prior to the incident) lashing out with his boot and catching the Forest striker in the face. It was the Assistant Referee who spotted it and gave the ref no choice but to award a penalty, which was duly dispatched to make it 5-4.
The home bench were livid, none more so than the Darren Ferguson lookalike (sort of) coach, who started inexplicably berating the Assistant on his side, despite him being the furthest possible distance from the incident and having no role in giving the penalty whatsoever. For some reason I decided to side with the officials and get involved, only to be quickly snapped at and told to shut it by Fergie Jnr. Waltham Forest were unable to secure an unlikely 5th, but despite the final whistle the home bench continued to confront the officials at full time as we hastily made for the exit to escape a ground we hope we never have to return to.
We arrived to find that the ground wasn't actually open yet, and were in fact a little bemused as to where the entrance was. Sure, there was something resembling a turnstile in front of us, but all signs seemed to point to alongside the stadium, with green painted footprints on display for those that cannot read I presume. I followed those footprints step for step only to be lulled into a cul-de-sac and have to embarrasingly retrace my steps to the original entrance.
By now there was something resembling life going on, as at 2.10 a man was opening the turnstile whilst another stapled todays fixture to a board. We were officially the first paying customers to enter the tiny ground that day, and would be eventually followed by a further 67 foolhardy followers. Attendances must be regularly low here as the guy selling tickets wasn't actually sure what the prices were. Eventually I was made to part with £8 and I was in, ready to explore.
With a good 45 minutes to spare there wasn't actually too much to look at. There was no clubshop, no tea bar (ludicrous!), and only one small toilet. There was one stand, about 4 rows deep running about half the length of the pitch, and the rest was standing. A grassy knoll existed in one corner, with a sign telling us we couldn't stand there, and that was about it. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of mis-placed signs here. Along with the misleading entrance, there was a sign for gents and ladies toilets, situated above a small bush. Perhaps that was the place to go but seeing as that bush was on full view of the pitch, I decided that I'd never choose to drop my trousers there, and quickly moved on.
So what else to do in an almost empty stadium with more than 30mins to kick-off? Have a sit down of course. We wandered over to the sole stand, passing a footballer pissing against a fence along the way (as you do), and being less than impressed with the state of the pitch, but amused by the obviously drunken groundsman who had marked out the boundaries. The seating arrangements were also not quite right with numbers and rows definitely not matching up. We sat in row 4. Or row 30, if Waltham Abbey were to have you believe.
Agitated by a few young fans nearby, and increasingly hungry due to the lack of food on offer, we decided to get away from everyone and watch the game from next to the dugouts, the layout of the ground meaning we'd be looking down slightly on the pitch as well. Things had started poorly here, and only a great game would change our mood. The home side were sitting comfortably in mid-table and were taking on the team bottom of the league, who have conceded 78 times this season already so we were expecting goals.
And we were not to be disappointed as the two Waltham's played out a memorable 5-4 thriller. This sort of match is what non-league football is all about. It took just 9 minutes for Abbey to take the lead, as Emmanuel Oesi nipped in from a flick, past a static defence who were waiting for a flag that was never going to come. Sure, already it was all route one stuff from the home side, but it was proving effective against a sluggish back line.
Undeterred, Forest hit back just 2 minutes later. More good work from right midfielder Joel Palmer, who had already started brightly, and an eventual cross from the right and it was tucked home by Midfielder Healy for the equaliser.
Now, despite being level, the away dugout were obviously displeased with the way their defence were playing, and one centre-back 'Joel' seemed to be taking most of the flak. In fairness to Joel his body may have seen better days, and he was certainly finding it difficult to keep up with the pace of the game, but despite being dragged out of position on the odd occasion, he was giving it his all, this point backed up by poking his tongue out in concentration each time play edged his way. But incredibly, after one bit of 'advice'
too far from the sidelines, Joel decided he'd had enough and started walking off the pitch at the exact same time as Abbey were launching another attack. We'd never seen anything like it, especially so early on in the game. Remarkably Forest managed to avert the danger despite having being a centre-back down, but it didn't last.
In fact, just 6 minutes later and now only 30mins into the game the Home team had scored two quick fire goals to move into a commanding 3-1 lead. More calamatous defending, first to concede an needless free-kick, and then moments later a mix up between the back line and their keeper, being all the invitation that was needed.
It very soon got worse for Forest. An attempted swing at the ball in his own area from Palmer, saw the ball spin up his body and strike his arm. With nobody within 5 yards of the player, it seemed a really harsh decision to award a penalty, but by the letter of the law, perhaps the referee was correct, and with 5 minutes until half time it was now 4-1.
Down, but not out, Forest kept going and on the stroke of half time they were back in it, Palmer making amends for his mistake for the 4th goal by tapping in from close range to make it 4-2. All they had to do was see out injury time and re-group for the second half. Not to be though, as Abbey immediately restored their 3 goal margin after a fantastic chest and looping strike on the half-volley from easily 25 yards out. 5-2 at the break. Incredible!
Waltham Forest came out a different side in the second half. Well, a slightly improved side at least. We were a touch surprised to see Joel trotting out after his first half sulk, but he remained focused on the game and helped his team to a second half clean-sheet. In truth it was probably more Abbey who took their foot off the pedal, and they were probably still not too concerned when they conceded a 3rd after 65 minutes, when Zesh Bennet powered through and finished well with the aid of a deflection.
The game seemed to be petering out at 5-3 when with full-time fast approaching there was a tangle in the Abbey box resulting in left-back Daveney (who had look composed all game prior to the incident) lashing out with his boot and catching the Forest striker in the face. It was the Assistant Referee who spotted it and gave the ref no choice but to award a penalty, which was duly dispatched to make it 5-4.
The home bench were livid, none more so than the Darren Ferguson lookalike (sort of) coach, who started inexplicably berating the Assistant on his side, despite him being the furthest possible distance from the incident and having no role in giving the penalty whatsoever. For some reason I decided to side with the officials and get involved, only to be quickly snapped at and told to shut it by Fergie Jnr. Waltham Forest were unable to secure an unlikely 5th, but despite the final whistle the home bench continued to confront the officials at full time as we hastily made for the exit to escape a ground we hope we never have to return to.
Essex Senior Cup Final 2011
Billericay Town v Aveley FC
Not part of our scehdule this game, but when on a tour of Essex clubs, who would dare turn down the opportunity of seeing a cup final?
And so it was after 4 days of unseasonally scorching April weather, we approached Ship Lane (for the second time this season) accompanied by heavy rain clouds and a brisk wind. Trust our luck that the weather should decide to turn, myself finding it particularly incredulous after being sat sunbathing merely hours before.
Fortunately though the rain would ease by the time the teams took to the pitch, and despite the breeze, it would still be a darn sight warmer than the last time we were here to see Thurrock play.
There seemed to be something fishy going on as both Tuna and Salmon were missing from the Aveley line-up, and yet we'd only seen them play a few weeks before. We quickly realised though that at this level a lot of the players move from club to club on short term deals meaning it was highly likely that a fair few of the team that we witnessed lose to Wealdstone were probably cup-tied for tonight.
We both predicted a comfortable Billericay victory knowing full well that despite Aveley's commitment to the cause, they lack any real penetration going forward. It seemed their best chance of a positive result would be to keep things tight at the back.
Billericay scored after 60 seconds. No mean feat seeing as it was from a free kick by defender Flanagan who had to wait at least half that time for the Aveley wall to assemble themselves. Unperturbed, Flanagan cooly curled his shot around the wall and neatly into the bottom corner.
I would say it silenced the Aveley crowd, but they didn't seem to have one, just a handful of young fans. To their credit though, one of them had brought a drum to literally try to drum up some support, using it sparingly in the first half, and annoyingly in the second.
So after 1 minute the game was effectively over, but to their credit Aveley fought as hard as they could, with Orlando Smith once again being their most threatening player, but a lack of composure in front of goal thwarted any attempts at a comeback.
We compared the game to that of the 1997 FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Middlesbrough. In that showpiece, Chelsea scored inside a minute and added a second to kill the game, sending the 40,000 or so Chelsea fans into deliruim. Much the same here, Billericay eventually grabbed a second, resulting in 450 or so Billericay Town supporters chanting with glee as they knew they'd be bringing the cup home for the first time in 35 years.
It was a little disheartening to see the Aveley players trudge off at full time to collect their runners-up medals with barely any of their own fans to greet them. Credit though to the opposition support who stood and clapped them as they approached, and despite only being a Non-League Final, the obvious dejection on the players faces was for all to see.
But soon it was time for the winners to approach, and quite possibly the worlds largest trophy was lifted in delight by club captain Micah Hyde. He may be in the twilight of his career, a former Premier League player, a former International player in fact, but winning is winning, and Hyde was clearly enjoying the victory as much as his less prestigious teammates.
Not part of our scehdule this game, but when on a tour of Essex clubs, who would dare turn down the opportunity of seeing a cup final?
And so it was after 4 days of unseasonally scorching April weather, we approached Ship Lane (for the second time this season) accompanied by heavy rain clouds and a brisk wind. Trust our luck that the weather should decide to turn, myself finding it particularly incredulous after being sat sunbathing merely hours before.
Fortunately though the rain would ease by the time the teams took to the pitch, and despite the breeze, it would still be a darn sight warmer than the last time we were here to see Thurrock play.
There seemed to be something fishy going on as both Tuna and Salmon were missing from the Aveley line-up, and yet we'd only seen them play a few weeks before. We quickly realised though that at this level a lot of the players move from club to club on short term deals meaning it was highly likely that a fair few of the team that we witnessed lose to Wealdstone were probably cup-tied for tonight.
We both predicted a comfortable Billericay victory knowing full well that despite Aveley's commitment to the cause, they lack any real penetration going forward. It seemed their best chance of a positive result would be to keep things tight at the back.
Billericay scored after 60 seconds. No mean feat seeing as it was from a free kick by defender Flanagan who had to wait at least half that time for the Aveley wall to assemble themselves. Unperturbed, Flanagan cooly curled his shot around the wall and neatly into the bottom corner.
I would say it silenced the Aveley crowd, but they didn't seem to have one, just a handful of young fans. To their credit though, one of them had brought a drum to literally try to drum up some support, using it sparingly in the first half, and annoyingly in the second.
So after 1 minute the game was effectively over, but to their credit Aveley fought as hard as they could, with Orlando Smith once again being their most threatening player, but a lack of composure in front of goal thwarted any attempts at a comeback.
We compared the game to that of the 1997 FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Middlesbrough. In that showpiece, Chelsea scored inside a minute and added a second to kill the game, sending the 40,000 or so Chelsea fans into deliruim. Much the same here, Billericay eventually grabbed a second, resulting in 450 or so Billericay Town supporters chanting with glee as they knew they'd be bringing the cup home for the first time in 35 years.
It was a little disheartening to see the Aveley players trudge off at full time to collect their runners-up medals with barely any of their own fans to greet them. Credit though to the opposition support who stood and clapped them as they approached, and despite only being a Non-League Final, the obvious dejection on the players faces was for all to see.
But soon it was time for the winners to approach, and quite possibly the worlds largest trophy was lifted in delight by club captain Micah Hyde. He may be in the twilight of his career, a former Premier League player, a former International player in fact, but winning is winning, and Hyde was clearly enjoying the victory as much as his less prestigious teammates.
Harlow Town v Romford
Our longest drive of the tour this week as we were off to see Harlow Town. Originally omitted from the list due to an oversight by me, but reinstated after a tip from Tony at Thurrock. Googlemaps stated about an hours drive so we set off in pursuit of our goal with plenty of time in hand. Googlemaps however seems to cater for those who like to drive along as if they have a caravan attached to the rear of their car, as we found ourselves pulling up way in advance of kick-off. So a needlessly early depature time this week, made all the more annoying by the fact that the game was to start at 1pm to avoid clashing with the Wales v England European Qualifying match at 3pm. I'm just grouchy because I was hungover (again).
Harlow's ground is relatively new, the team having only relocated to Barrows Farm in 2006. Sure, it looked nice, it looked modern, but then it lacked character and a sense of a close-knit semi-professional team. The ground was dominated by one large stand with comfortable seating, and it must have been expensive to build as they were charging £2.50 for a matchday programme! I suppose they've got to make their money back somehow.
Before kick-off and with 45 minutes still to go we took a slower than usual walk around the ground. For those of you that haven't visited a Non-League ground before, they are all rather similar, and generally do not need three quarters of an hour put aside to spend on navigating them. So before long we'd come full circle and sat shivering at the back of the stand awaiting the arrival of the players. One humourous observation of note was that Harlow appear to have gone for a less conventional 'conservatory' style for their dugouts, meaning if you are one of the substitutes that day, unless you get there early and take prime position in the middle of the bench, then you'll more than likely end up having to peer through a window to see the match.
Eventually the players appeared. We knew they were coming as an old lady was summoned to gently pull out the tunnel from which they would emerge. It seemed cruel to make this woman do this job, but all was well about 20minutes later as it became clear that she was actually being paid for her occupation in the form of a cone of chips that were brought over for her to enjoy.
Accompanying the two sides onto the pitch was a man over the tannoy who had quite possibly the most deflated tone I'd ever heard. From previous experience it's usually this guys job to whip up a bit of a frenzy, and make what will quite possibly be a dull encounter, sound like the greatest spectacle to hit the area in years. If only for a few minutes, this man has the most important job in football, as his tones can help influence the crowd that are there, meaning it's important to keep the energy levels up, especially when the majority of your attendance are aged 65+ anyway and prone to dozing off even during more exciteable occasions in life. Alas, no. Because of this man as the game commenced, I was now feeling bored as well as cold.
The game being underway didn't really change things at first as it was a very stop/start affair from the outset. A crude challenge in the opening minutes resulted in a booking and a lengthy stoppage, and minutes later Romford's striker was inadvertently caught in the head by the home 'keepers left knee as he rose to claim an overhit throughball. These incidents would prove key later on though as neither player could fully recover resulting in Romford being forced into making 2 changes after only 12 minutes.
And it was moments after these changes that Harlow opened the scoring. Strikers Lee Roache and Bertie Brayley looked a class partnership all afternoon as they grabbed a brace each, and it was Roache that got the first with a free header from barely 6 yeards. This goal finally helped bring some atmosphere to the ground as the small contingent of hardcore fans (well, the annoying loud ones anyway), went crazy and began chorus after chorus of typical terraced chants.
The tone was set for the rest of the game, it was 2-0 just before half time as Harlow this time flexed their muscles from a corner kick. Aside from the two goals the first half followed a familiar pattern, Harlow would play some neat and tidy football, they'd get the ball out wide to their number 7, and he'd endeavour to put in the worst ball possible to prevent the scoreline from becoming embarrasing. He did improve ever so slightly in the second half by assisting Harlow's third, only to then be hauled off to take his place in the Home Team's conservatory.
Harlows last though was a goal of real quality, Brailey picking the ball up in the centre of the opponents half, and ignoring options both left and right of him, unleashing an unstoppable drive into the roof of the net from 25 yards out. Cue, more raptures from the crowd as they started singing 'Whats that coming over the hill, is it promotion?'
Romford did grab a consolation though on 72 minutes, but it was nothing more than that. Up until that point Harlow had looked solid at the back, as they were commanded by former Southend United centre-back Leo Roget. At 33 he didn't get about the pitch as much, in fact he hardly moved all game, but his mere presence was enough to deter the oppositions rare forays at goal. Sitting a row in front of us was Leo's wife and kids, a point noticed by us as the little girl asked 'why is Daddy being taken off?' when Roget was given a breather with 10 minutes to go.
Our longest drive of the tour this week as we were off to see Harlow Town. Originally omitted from the list due to an oversight by me, but reinstated after a tip from Tony at Thurrock. Googlemaps stated about an hours drive so we set off in pursuit of our goal with plenty of time in hand. Googlemaps however seems to cater for those who like to drive along as if they have a caravan attached to the rear of their car, as we found ourselves pulling up way in advance of kick-off. So a needlessly early depature time this week, made all the more annoying by the fact that the game was to start at 1pm to avoid clashing with the Wales v England European Qualifying match at 3pm. I'm just grouchy because I was hungover (again).
Harlow's ground is relatively new, the team having only relocated to Barrows Farm in 2006. Sure, it looked nice, it looked modern, but then it lacked character and a sense of a close-knit semi-professional team. The ground was dominated by one large stand with comfortable seating, and it must have been expensive to build as they were charging £2.50 for a matchday programme! I suppose they've got to make their money back somehow.
Before kick-off and with 45 minutes still to go we took a slower than usual walk around the ground. For those of you that haven't visited a Non-League ground before, they are all rather similar, and generally do not need three quarters of an hour put aside to spend on navigating them. So before long we'd come full circle and sat shivering at the back of the stand awaiting the arrival of the players. One humourous observation of note was that Harlow appear to have gone for a less conventional 'conservatory' style for their dugouts, meaning if you are one of the substitutes that day, unless you get there early and take prime position in the middle of the bench, then you'll more than likely end up having to peer through a window to see the match.
Eventually the players appeared. We knew they were coming as an old lady was summoned to gently pull out the tunnel from which they would emerge. It seemed cruel to make this woman do this job, but all was well about 20minutes later as it became clear that she was actually being paid for her occupation in the form of a cone of chips that were brought over for her to enjoy.
Accompanying the two sides onto the pitch was a man over the tannoy who had quite possibly the most deflated tone I'd ever heard. From previous experience it's usually this guys job to whip up a bit of a frenzy, and make what will quite possibly be a dull encounter, sound like the greatest spectacle to hit the area in years. If only for a few minutes, this man has the most important job in football, as his tones can help influence the crowd that are there, meaning it's important to keep the energy levels up, especially when the majority of your attendance are aged 65+ anyway and prone to dozing off even during more exciteable occasions in life. Alas, no. Because of this man as the game commenced, I was now feeling bored as well as cold.
The game being underway didn't really change things at first as it was a very stop/start affair from the outset. A crude challenge in the opening minutes resulted in a booking and a lengthy stoppage, and minutes later Romford's striker was inadvertently caught in the head by the home 'keepers left knee as he rose to claim an overhit throughball. These incidents would prove key later on though as neither player could fully recover resulting in Romford being forced into making 2 changes after only 12 minutes.
And it was moments after these changes that Harlow opened the scoring. Strikers Lee Roache and Bertie Brayley looked a class partnership all afternoon as they grabbed a brace each, and it was Roache that got the first with a free header from barely 6 yeards. This goal finally helped bring some atmosphere to the ground as the small contingent of hardcore fans (well, the annoying loud ones anyway), went crazy and began chorus after chorus of typical terraced chants.
The tone was set for the rest of the game, it was 2-0 just before half time as Harlow this time flexed their muscles from a corner kick. Aside from the two goals the first half followed a familiar pattern, Harlow would play some neat and tidy football, they'd get the ball out wide to their number 7, and he'd endeavour to put in the worst ball possible to prevent the scoreline from becoming embarrasing. He did improve ever so slightly in the second half by assisting Harlow's third, only to then be hauled off to take his place in the Home Team's conservatory.
Harlows last though was a goal of real quality, Brailey picking the ball up in the centre of the opponents half, and ignoring options both left and right of him, unleashing an unstoppable drive into the roof of the net from 25 yards out. Cue, more raptures from the crowd as they started singing 'Whats that coming over the hill, is it promotion?'
Romford did grab a consolation though on 72 minutes, but it was nothing more than that. Up until that point Harlow had looked solid at the back, as they were commanded by former Southend United centre-back Leo Roget. At 33 he didn't get about the pitch as much, in fact he hardly moved all game, but his mere presence was enough to deter the oppositions rare forays at goal. Sitting a row in front of us was Leo's wife and kids, a point noticed by us as the little girl asked 'why is Daddy being taken off?' when Roget was given a breather with 10 minutes to go.
Thursday 24 March 2011
Heybridge Swifts v Grays
Since the beginning of this tour we've been struggling somewhat to clearly settle on the boundaries for the teams we need to visit. In the past there would have been many more clubs to get to, but over the years Greater London has slowly but surely advanced on the territory of what were Essex clubs. Indeed, some of the club websites still listed their team as being in Essex. But we've learnt over the weeks not to trust these websites, they are quite often left unattended and display out of date information.
This week we slipped up and were almost left without a fixture. We were minutes away from embarking on a trip to AFC Hornchurch when I realised that they are in fact now a part of Greater London and not our County. Luckily for us there was one other game available on this particular weekend. A game that couldn't have suited us better. We were off to see Heybridge Swifts host Grays, a stroke of luck meaning that we would now be able to see Grays play (Grays being another Essex team, derived of their own stadium so originally omitted from our list).
We set off early because we wanted to view the Tottenham v West Ham game before the Non-League fun began and rolled up at the ground a full 2 and a half hours before kick-off. Getting out at the currently empty car park we decided to see if the clubhouse was showing the game. We spotted the turnstiles, but they were closed, so just ambled on round the side and before we knew it we were in the grounds. It was strange, there were no other barriers from even stopping us walking down the players tunnel if we wanted to. I suppose the fact the ground even had a players tunnel was an achievement in itself. We'd go on to watch the Premier League game and then have the freedom of the grounds to wander out and take our place pitchside without having to pay an entrance fee.
Grays are currently managed by West Ham legend Julian Dicks, so perhaps it was no surprise to see him appear along with his squad to watch the game with us. We did perhaps wonder if this was the correct way for a team to prepare before kick-off as the Heybridge team were first to go out and warm up whilst the away team were fixated on the screens indoors.
As the Premier League game drew to a disappointing close with the score still at 0-0, attention turned to Non-Leagues first ever bookies unfolding to our left. It was the first one we'd spotted anyway, as a guy in a jumper that would surely not be worn outside of that clubhouse, set about chalking up odds for the first goalscorer for Heybridge that day. I wouldn't entirely trust his calculation methods though so opted out of a cheeky bet on the premise that the odds were being altered at an alarming rate every few minutes.
As for the game itself, well it was a peculiar match, one with little to go on due to the absense of a match programme (these are only available as you enter through the turnstiles). To make matters worse, wherever we stood we were staring into the sun so couldn't make out much anyway. Granted, we could have positioned ourselves on the opposite side of the pitch, but when you've waited a good few months for warmth at these games, you'd have to be a fool not to jump at the opportunity to be blinded in favour of a clear but cold view of a sub-standard game of football.
The majority of the Grays fans were in sync with us, standing as they were a little further down the touchline. Despite having to squint to see what was going on out there, they still seemed to know better than the linesman, and aimed their abuse in his direction throughout proceedings, despite the majority of the controversial decisions having nothing to do with him.
So with a lack of a teamsheet we identified the players in our own novel way. Heybridge were kept solid at the back by the presence of a fat Ian Walker look-alike, a sight not lost on a few others in the crowd who pointed this out to him with glee. Grays best lookalike was a Sami Hyppia type figure at the back, even though on the rare occasion he wandered over to where we were standing he actually only looked about 17. Still, Hyppia Jnr would be at the centre of the majority of Grays defensive errors, as he often attempted to foul his man in preference to going for the ball. He failed miserably at either option in fairness.
One redeeming feature was the fantastic yet unneccessary volume of the tannoy system. Because of this, ourselves, and anyone in the properties placed within a 5 mile radius of the ground were probably all aware that winger Lewis had opened the scoring for the home team after barely 5 minutes. Grays had started strongly but a swift Swifts counter had led to the enigmatic midfielder making a mockery of his portly size and outpacing the Grays backline to open the scoring.
Heybridges' second was a goal of pure quality, another pacy break and more controlled passing released Lewis again, only for him to this time cross for the incoming Reece Morgan to finish with a delightful header. 2-0 at the break, and really it was all that the Home side deserved, their patient build-up suiting the conditions far more than the aimless long ball tactics of Julian Dicks' men.
However, these two teams came into this game locked in mid-table, both on 44 points, and Grays appeared in the second half to want to prove that their hosts were not a better side. They pulled an early goal back and kept pressurising for an equaliser, only to eventually be the masters of their own downfall as another defensive error let in a Heybridge substitute to put the gloss on a 3-1 win.
Throughout the game balls kept flying over the hoardings, not an uncommon occurance at this level, and with minutes to go one of these balls fell neatly at our feet, with Bob taking the opportunity to grab it as a souvenir of our day out.
*pictures to follow shortly
This week we slipped up and were almost left without a fixture. We were minutes away from embarking on a trip to AFC Hornchurch when I realised that they are in fact now a part of Greater London and not our County. Luckily for us there was one other game available on this particular weekend. A game that couldn't have suited us better. We were off to see Heybridge Swifts host Grays, a stroke of luck meaning that we would now be able to see Grays play (Grays being another Essex team, derived of their own stadium so originally omitted from our list).
We set off early because we wanted to view the Tottenham v West Ham game before the Non-League fun began and rolled up at the ground a full 2 and a half hours before kick-off. Getting out at the currently empty car park we decided to see if the clubhouse was showing the game. We spotted the turnstiles, but they were closed, so just ambled on round the side and before we knew it we were in the grounds. It was strange, there were no other barriers from even stopping us walking down the players tunnel if we wanted to. I suppose the fact the ground even had a players tunnel was an achievement in itself. We'd go on to watch the Premier League game and then have the freedom of the grounds to wander out and take our place pitchside without having to pay an entrance fee.
Grays are currently managed by West Ham legend Julian Dicks, so perhaps it was no surprise to see him appear along with his squad to watch the game with us. We did perhaps wonder if this was the correct way for a team to prepare before kick-off as the Heybridge team were first to go out and warm up whilst the away team were fixated on the screens indoors.
As the Premier League game drew to a disappointing close with the score still at 0-0, attention turned to Non-Leagues first ever bookies unfolding to our left. It was the first one we'd spotted anyway, as a guy in a jumper that would surely not be worn outside of that clubhouse, set about chalking up odds for the first goalscorer for Heybridge that day. I wouldn't entirely trust his calculation methods though so opted out of a cheeky bet on the premise that the odds were being altered at an alarming rate every few minutes.
As for the game itself, well it was a peculiar match, one with little to go on due to the absense of a match programme (these are only available as you enter through the turnstiles). To make matters worse, wherever we stood we were staring into the sun so couldn't make out much anyway. Granted, we could have positioned ourselves on the opposite side of the pitch, but when you've waited a good few months for warmth at these games, you'd have to be a fool not to jump at the opportunity to be blinded in favour of a clear but cold view of a sub-standard game of football.
The majority of the Grays fans were in sync with us, standing as they were a little further down the touchline. Despite having to squint to see what was going on out there, they still seemed to know better than the linesman, and aimed their abuse in his direction throughout proceedings, despite the majority of the controversial decisions having nothing to do with him.
So with a lack of a teamsheet we identified the players in our own novel way. Heybridge were kept solid at the back by the presence of a fat Ian Walker look-alike, a sight not lost on a few others in the crowd who pointed this out to him with glee. Grays best lookalike was a Sami Hyppia type figure at the back, even though on the rare occasion he wandered over to where we were standing he actually only looked about 17. Still, Hyppia Jnr would be at the centre of the majority of Grays defensive errors, as he often attempted to foul his man in preference to going for the ball. He failed miserably at either option in fairness.
One redeeming feature was the fantastic yet unneccessary volume of the tannoy system. Because of this, ourselves, and anyone in the properties placed within a 5 mile radius of the ground were probably all aware that winger Lewis had opened the scoring for the home team after barely 5 minutes. Grays had started strongly but a swift Swifts counter had led to the enigmatic midfielder making a mockery of his portly size and outpacing the Grays backline to open the scoring.
Heybridges' second was a goal of pure quality, another pacy break and more controlled passing released Lewis again, only for him to this time cross for the incoming Reece Morgan to finish with a delightful header. 2-0 at the break, and really it was all that the Home side deserved, their patient build-up suiting the conditions far more than the aimless long ball tactics of Julian Dicks' men.
However, these two teams came into this game locked in mid-table, both on 44 points, and Grays appeared in the second half to want to prove that their hosts were not a better side. They pulled an early goal back and kept pressurising for an equaliser, only to eventually be the masters of their own downfall as another defensive error let in a Heybridge substitute to put the gloss on a 3-1 win.
Throughout the game balls kept flying over the hoardings, not an uncommon occurance at this level, and with minutes to go one of these balls fell neatly at our feet, with Bob taking the opportunity to grab it as a souvenir of our day out.
*pictures to follow shortly
Aveley v Wealdstone
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| Unbelievably this was the view from outside the ground |
Aveley v Wealdstone
Saturday 12th March, and for the first time it wasn't finger numbingly cold outside. And so despite the truly awful game of football that unfolded before us, it was definitely one of the more positive non-league outings we'd experienced this season.
Unlike last weeks rush to Canvey, we gave ourselves plenty of time to arrive and soak up the atmosphere of our surroundings. We already had half an idea about where we were going as Mill Field is merely a few minutes drive from where we had visited Thurrock earlier on our tour. Not that you'd necessarily be aware of it though, as the tiny ground is tucked away out of sight and mind from the locals.
If ever you're looking to get into non-league football and are looking for a team to follow, but are worried about the costs of a season piling up, then I'd recommend picking Aveley as your team. That's got nothing to do with the ticket prices, prices here are the same as everywhere else in the area. It's got more to do with the fact that the boundary of the ground is marked out with such low fencing that one could quite comfortably view all the action from the wrong side of the turnstiles. Not us though, we were eager to get in and see in detail our 11th game of the season.
Aveley have a strange ground, the pitch is flanked on either side by a large amount of unused grass, resulting in you feeling distant from the action no matter what side of the pitch you stand. Behind one goal was proof if needed of Aveley's poor goals to game ratio at home this season, as the fence panels that were left had been completely annihilated by wayward shots. For obvious reasons we decided we wouldn’t be viewing the game from here today. Oh no, we had our hearts set on trying out the old fashioned wooden stand that we passed on the way in. We ambled around the pitch passing the free-flowing named 'The Veolia Mardyke Trust Stand', wondering if any fan had previously attempted to incorporate such a mouthful into a terrace chant.
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| Appetising Food Menu |
Before settling in our spot for the day, we headed over to grab a bite to eat. The menu here was less than inviting, with no prices and seemingly very little in the way of edible food on sale. It was basically a toss up between going for a 'Umbo Hot Og' or a 'Ham U' with perhaps some 'Soft Rinks' thrown in as well. After much deliberation we slumped for the 'Umbo Hot Ogs and then took our seats. The wooden stand we'd spotted from afar was complimented with wooden seats, and very uncomfortable wooden seats at that. Still, we felt as if we were welcome here, we were not outsiders, there was no tension from other fans, it almost felt as if we weren't in Essex . A huge part of this may well have been due to the warblings of Aveley's stadium announcer, the old lady making small jokes and entertaining the kids that obviously worshipped her whilst simultaneously annoying her at every home game.
It was as we were trying to make out and mark down the teamsheets on the back of the matchday programme that we saw him. A strange big headed fellow, wandering around the ground, waving aimlessly and at nobody in particular. It was our very first matchday mascot! Who knows for sure whether or not he is a regular here, he may well have just have been drafted in to help raise money for Comic Relief that week (not that he was doing a very good job as the bucket he was shaking looked as if it may have cost more than the amount people donated), but we were pleased to see him even if he seemed less than enthusiastic to be there.
Despite the distractions of the worlds worst mascot we did manage to jot down the full teamsheet, with Aveley opting to pair Salmon and Tuna up front. We thought at first that there maybe something fishy going on here, but lo-and-behold the programme listed them, so they must be real.
I'm writing a lot about the surroundings here because nothing much happened in the game. There was one goal, an opportunist strike from Wealdstone on the half hour mark but that was about your lot. Now there's coming out and covering your front post, and there's coming out and leaving the goal gaping. Unfortunately for Aveley their 'keeper opted for the latter.
To compliment the mascot and help raise money for Comic Relief next Friday, the teams were also to play with a red ball for the duration of the game. The ball itself though appeared very lightweight and difficult to control, floating as it did all over the pitch once the game was underway.
With the teamsheet jotted down in front of us, we were able to identify the players in front of us with ease, something that has been lacking from many of the games we have attended. Aveley's one flair player was Orlando Smith, but he spent much of the first half hugging the touchline and failing to create any chances for the the front two. In fact their best and only chance of the half came when the two strikers teamed up, Salmon, reeled in a couple of defenders and layed the red balloon on a plate for Tuna, who failed to gobble up the chance, blasting as he did high and handsome over the bar.
Half-time soon came around with very little else in the way of entertainment, bar a potential penalty appeal for the away side that was turned down flatly by an unimpressed referee.
The referee's next real involvement of the day would be to pull out the lucky raffle ticket on his way off the pitch at half time, netting a lucky recipient the £25 top prize.
As we waited for the teams to reappear we at last spotted the stereotypical man and his dog that is so often associated with football at this level. Great joy was also taken in seeing a group of kids invade the pitch to set up a game of 'Wembley', and due to the lack of stewards on hand, got away with a good 10 mins of play before the stadium announcer scared them off.
The teams were soon out for the second half, but Aveley couldn't provide enough quality going forward to get back into the game. To put it bluntly, both Salmon and Tuna looked like fish out of water as they continually struggled to breach the Wealdstone net, the latter being taken off before too long. Flair player Orlando bloomed as the half went on, but even his forays away from the touchline failed to spark life into a limited Aveley team.
*pictures to follow shortly
To compliment the mascot and help raise money for Comic Relief next Friday, the teams were also to play with a red ball for the duration of the game. The ball itself though appeared very lightweight and difficult to control, floating as it did all over the pitch once the game was underway.
With the teamsheet jotted down in front of us, we were able to identify the players in front of us with ease, something that has been lacking from many of the games we have attended. Aveley's one flair player was Orlando Smith, but he spent much of the first half hugging the touchline and failing to create any chances for the the front two. In fact their best and only chance of the half came when the two strikers teamed up, Salmon, reeled in a couple of defenders and layed the red balloon on a plate for Tuna, who failed to gobble up the chance, blasting as he did high and handsome over the bar.
Half-time soon came around with very little else in the way of entertainment, bar a potential penalty appeal for the away side that was turned down flatly by an unimpressed referee.
The referee's next real involvement of the day would be to pull out the lucky raffle ticket on his way off the pitch at half time, netting a lucky recipient the £25 top prize.
As we waited for the teams to reappear we at last spotted the stereotypical man and his dog that is so often associated with football at this level. Great joy was also taken in seeing a group of kids invade the pitch to set up a game of 'Wembley', and due to the lack of stewards on hand, got away with a good 10 mins of play before the stadium announcer scared them off.
The teams were soon out for the second half, but Aveley couldn't provide enough quality going forward to get back into the game. To put it bluntly, both Salmon and Tuna looked like fish out of water as they continually struggled to breach the Wealdstone net, the latter being taken off before too long. Flair player Orlando bloomed as the half went on, but even his forays away from the touchline failed to spark life into a limited Aveley team.
*pictures to follow shortly
Saturday 12 March 2011
Canvey Island v Horsham
Canvey Island v Horsham - 05/03/11
It's a week now since we re-traced our steps back to the Island to see Canvey play again, this time at their home ground - The Brockwell Stadium. In just a couple of hours time we will be heading off to finally see Aveley play, a team we've been trying but failing to get to for many weeks now due to weather and fixture scheduling that went against us.
And that was it for the first half, the only other memorable moment came when one of the players hoofed the ball out of the stadium for the umpteenth time, only for a new ball to be thrown over from the dugout, with that too bouncing straight out and into the streets beyond.
From our higher viewpoint we could see more clearly the shortcomings of both teams. Neither side have set the division alight this season, and on this form it was evident why. Granted, by now Horsham were being forced to chased the game but even so some of their defending was comical as Canvey found themselves with men over on more than one occasion. But The Islanders themselves were regularly guilty of making bad decisions in front of goal and wasted many chances. Eventually though, they found their third with about half an hour to go. Hallett - who had a very good game - found space down the right flank and drilled an inviting ball into the box where a waiting Alex Rhodes expertly brought it down and finished first time from about 12 yards out.
Horsham were down and out, but to their credit kept going and grabbed a goal back with 20 minutes to go, encouraging the small away contingency to cheekily claim that they were going to win 4-3. In reality that was to be the end of the goals for the day, and the home support saw their team through to the final whistle with a non-stop chant of 'Yellows, Yellows' for the last 15 minutes.
Car Park: Free but full
Ticket: £10
Programme: £2
It's a week now since we re-traced our steps back to the Island to see Canvey play again, this time at their home ground - The Brockwell Stadium. In just a couple of hours time we will be heading off to finally see Aveley play, a team we've been trying but failing to get to for many weeks now due to weather and fixture scheduling that went against us.
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| Canvey's hideous sponsored car |
In a fashion typical to me, i've become lazy and neglected to keep up to date with events, so am eager to get last weeks game in writing before the fixtures begin to pile up on me.
It was something of a strange experience at Canvey last week. With both myself and Bob committed to other things that day (I had a severe hangover to recover from in the morning and Bob had a dinner date to shoot off to immediately after the game), we found ourselves rushing in and out of the ground in as short amount as time as possible. Perhaps this was the major reason for the feeling of emptyness and lack of atmosphere to the game. Or it could have been the idea that Canvey took control of the game with two first half goals, and from there the match as a contest was effectively over. Horsham showed plenty of endeavour and acquired some neat touches on the ball, all without seemingly believing they could grab something from the game as they lacked a severe cutting edge in the final third.
So it was that this bizarrely underwhelming game unfolded in front of us on yet another bitterly cold day. In fairness temperatures were indeed up on recent weeks, but the location of the pitch being just a few hundred metres from the sea wall ensured a constant reminder that spring is a good way off yet as the sea breeze kept things as uncomfortable as possible.
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Plenty of leg room in the first half |
After pulling up with minutes to spare, and wasting that time on looking and laughing at Canvey's very own sponsored car, we were still shuffling through the turnstiles as the teams took to the pitch. A lot has changed at this ground since I last visited in the 90's, a huge concrete terracing area behind the goal being the most noticeable renovation. Grabbing a tea we opted to head for a seat in the front row near the centre circle. Despite the cold, we had ample leg room and was in constant earshot of the exchanges between players and referee. It was from here that we witnessed Canvey race into a 2-0 lead in the first 20 minutes, something they didn't really deserve as it was far from a controlling performance from them.
Still, the opener came from a slightly dubious free-kick given on the edge of the Horsham box. From where we were situated it looked as if the defending team didn't line their wall up correctly, allowing Rob King the simple task of stroking the ball into the net, past an unsighted goalkeeper. And with despite only 6 minutes on the clock, it was effectively game over as Canvey spent the rest of the match looking very comfortable and always in control. The scoreline was doubled on 22 minutes when Jason Hallett beat the offside trap and the oncoming goalkeeper to poke the ball home from 6 yards out. The public announcer excitedly declared it to be Hallett's second of the game, before having to embarrassingly backtrack as he realised his error.
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| Great close up views of the action too |
Despite the comfortable circumstances the fans were still constantly getting on the referees back, who was goaded with some rather friendly abuse by individuals in the stand. 'You're a pain in the neck ref', and 'you're ruining the game' were just two of the so called insults thrown his way. That was until a man just to the right of us confirmed that he thought the referee was indeed a wanker after he gave a 50/50 to the away team. The folk of Canvey must have high expectations of match officials because compared to some of the performances we've seen over the weeks, the man in black here remained in control, gave things as he saw them, and was constantly talking to the players and explaining his decisions to them.
And that was it for the first half, the only other memorable moment came when one of the players hoofed the ball out of the stadium for the umpteenth time, only for a new ball to be thrown over from the dugout, with that too bouncing straight out and into the streets beyond.
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| There's that boat again! |
As much as we wanted to stay and in our seats and listen to more non-sensical bullshit coming from the mouths of a few individuals, we wanted to try out the new terracing and so re-located there, standing as high up and far back as possible. From here we had an open view of the whole pitch and the Sea Wall in the distance, allowing us to pick up on our previous game of 'Spot the boat in the background' that we had invented at East Thurrock, during lulls in the action.
From our higher viewpoint we could see more clearly the shortcomings of both teams. Neither side have set the division alight this season, and on this form it was evident why. Granted, by now Horsham were being forced to chased the game but even so some of their defending was comical as Canvey found themselves with men over on more than one occasion. But The Islanders themselves were regularly guilty of making bad decisions in front of goal and wasted many chances. Eventually though, they found their third with about half an hour to go. Hallett - who had a very good game - found space down the right flank and drilled an inviting ball into the box where a waiting Alex Rhodes expertly brought it down and finished first time from about 12 yards out. Horsham were down and out, but to their credit kept going and grabbed a goal back with 20 minutes to go, encouraging the small away contingency to cheekily claim that they were going to win 4-3. In reality that was to be the end of the goals for the day, and the home support saw their team through to the final whistle with a non-stop chant of 'Yellows, Yellows' for the last 15 minutes.
Car Park: Free but full
Ticket: £10
Programme: £2
Score: 3-1
Attendance: 327
Thursday 3 March 2011
Last Minute Change of Plans
Tilbury FC v AFC Sudbury - Saturday 26th February
Another week of Non-League football, another week of adverse weather conditions. We intended to head off to see Aveley host Tooting & Mitcham, and were excited about the prospect of being in the presence of former Southend United right back Mark Beard, who is now in charge of the visiting team.
Alas, that was not to be, as pretty soon games in the area started to tumble to the weather, and before long ours was one of them. Undeterred we switched our attention to other fixtures that were going ahead, but what with the late postponements we knew we wouldn't have much time to get to another ground, so set our sights on the nearest home team on offer, Tilbury FC. According to the website there was to be a late pitch inspection but that the teams were expecting to play. Well, if they expected to play then we expected to be there to watch them, so we hurriedly set off to hunt down their ground. We were made to work hard for our prize, with there being no road signs or any indication as to where the ground was. In fact we may still have been looking for it now if it wasn't for the discovery of the AFC Sudbury team coach poking its head out of a side road.
With minutes to spare before kick off we finally entered through the turn-stiles. There didn't seem to be any match programmes on sale, just an old man selling soggy raffle tickets, so steering clear of him we ventured over to find a cup of tea.
I think it's fair to say that the home of Tilbury FC is not very pleasing on the eye. Both ends of the pitch had huge metal fencing behind them in an attempt to block the ball from leaving the stadium, forcing fans to peer through them if they want to stand behind the goals. They would honestly be better off investing in ball boys. The rest of the ground was harsh concrete and iron fencing, although to one side of the pitch they did boast an intriguing stand placed above the changing rooms. We couldn't turn down the opportunity to view a non-league game from above pitch level so made our way round to check it out, wandering past a huge pile of sand in doing so, that had been used on the pitch to try and get it fit for purpose.
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| Less than appealing view from behind the goal |
The rain was still falling heavily as the players emerged from below us, and we took our seats as they set themselves to kick off. Immediately we discovered that the view from our perch was fantastic, as long as you avoid sitting in any of the seats. With so many pillars and floodlight posts in front of us, in order to see the game we'd have to stand.
And what a game it was. In truth, the surface wasn't really playable. It was a mudbath. Still, the players took to it, with Sudbury coming out of the blocks faster than their hosts. After missing a few half chances though, and perhaps being scared off by a never ending supply of Tilbury slide tackles, the game soon evened out. All of a sudden it was Tilbury who were doing most of the running and their reward came after 15 minutes when a cross from the left was neatly controlled and stroked home by Chas Liddiard. At least i think that was his name, the teamsheet i stole it from was a little difficult to decipher.
This goal sent the small contingency of hardcore Tilbury fans into raptures. They were singing in unison throughout the first half anyway, and this early breakthrough only served to fuel their delightful chants further. They also seemed to be singing a collection of original terrace songs but we couldn't quite make out the seemingly witty lyrics from where we were, in part due to the distance they were from us but perhaps over-ridingly because they had been drinking a lot (we could smell the alcohol on their breaths after the game as we filtered out through the exit with them) causing them to slur some of their words.
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| Capturing our first sending off of the tour |
There was one other major chance in a frantic first half and it came barely minutes after the opening goal. Sudbury immediately looked to get back into the game and managed to force a corner, which resulted in them thumping the bar from range, and somehow having the follow up cleared off the line to prevent the equaliser.
Tilbury thought they'd grabbed a two goal lead just before half time, only for it to be ruled out for offside, so the teams went into the break with just the one goal to show for their efforts. We nipped over to grab a snack and almost missed the beginning of the second half due to the queue at the tea bar, as the poor old woman there had no help whatsover and was struggling to keep up. Perhaps thats why her tea tasted so bad, and because of this we opted for canned drinks second time around.
Fortunately for the players, and more importantly for an ever degrading playing surface, the rain eased up and things brightened in the second half. With the conditions settled, Sudbury started to show their class as the stronger team, and grabbed a quick equaliser only a few minutes after the restart. Cue the all too familiar scuffle with the 'keeper as he tries to keep hold of the ball whilst the striker wants to get on with the game. Things were heating up all over the pitch in fact, none more so than when Tilbury midfielder Ben Bradbury went crunching into left-back Daniel Swain, ending his oppositions game, shortly before the referee ended Bradbury's, with what was our first red-card since being on tour. Bradbury seemed to disagree and took his anger out on the linesman, so much so that he had to be held back from trying to attack him. Checking after the game the Tilbury website generously overlooked this incident to protect their player.In fact their website claimed that Tilbury were the better side over 90 minutes and claimed they were hard done by with the result, but as far as we were concerned that couldn't be further from the truth. Sudbury grabbed the win they deserved, breaking in numbers despite yet another poor decision by a referee who did his best to get everything wrong, and stroking the ball home from just inside the area with 15 minutes to go. Their looked as though there could be a bagful of goals in the dying minutes as Tilbury came forward leaving numerous gaps at the back, but Sudbury couldn't capitalise further.
Car Park: Very small and no spaces, so had to find a space on the road
Ticket: £8
Programme: N/A
Score: 1-2
Attendance: ???
Sunday 27 February 2011
Concord Rangers v Canvey Island
This was supposed to be the big one. The 'ConCan' Derby as we had dubbed it. We'd been talking about this game for weeks before the big date arrived. We were off to see Concord v Canvey. The Island derby would give us an opportunity to saviour both Canvey based teams. We obviously were not the only ones excited as before the match the Concord website warned punters to arrive early in order to get through the turnstiles in time for kick off.
Did i mention also that it just so happened to be another freezing cold evening in Essex? By the time half time arrived i felt ready to leave, and i'm sure dressing inappropriately with a lack of gloves and hat had nothing to do with it.
But of course we persevered and took up a standing position by one of the corner flags for the second 45 minutes. We had intended to place ourselves between the dugouts but after a long queue for a half time burger there was only space left at the less desirable places of the ground.
In comparison with the opening half, the second period did see a few more opportunites created though. First Concord thought they had taken the lead when right midfielder Stokes had a seemingly easy free header at the back post. In fairness to him, the ball may well have crossed the line only for Canvey 'keeper James Russell to claw the ball away in the nick of time (as far as the linesman was concerned anyway). And Canvey too thought they'd grabbed a winner minutes later, only for their effort on goal to be correctly ruled out for offside.
Eventually though with almost the last kick of the game, Concord substitute Claude Seanla grabbed the winner the game didn't really deserve, breaking the hearts of the hundreds of loyal Canvey fans that had kept up their support throughout the match.
We attempted to make a quick getaway to beat the traffic but were fenced in whilst the players left the field, and were thereby treated to the bizarre sight of the Concord players dancing and singing in the centre circle, much to the annoyance of some rather bitter Canvey fans.
Car Park: Full, (so parked in a hedge, adding to the challenge of leaving the car whilst wearing a suit)
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| Islanders out in force to support their teams |
Not only are these two teams located just a few miles apart, they also haven't clashed in the league since the early 90's. Interest in the game was obviously high, as on arrival we had our first new experience since beginning the Non-League tour at Braintree all those weeks ago - a long queue to get into the ground. The website wasn't lieing.
By the time we had entered the ground and grabbed a tea and a programme we barely had time to soak up the atmosphere as kick off was imminent. We grabbed a seat in the third row of one of the stands and eagerly awaited the teams. Due to the large quantity of fans i shamefully shirked my responsibilities and neglected to take too many pictures or make many notes, as i felt a bit out of place sitting there in my suit and didn't feel the desire to attract more attention to myself. Everyone around us seemed friendly though, in fact everyone around us seemed to know everyone else for some reason or other. It seemed the majority of Canvey had turned up, along with their kids.
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| The Teams line up before Kick-Off |
The game itself though was a bitter disappointment. The players were understandably nervy about the pressure of making a mistake, and there was very little in the way of high quality football being played. Despite not taking notes i can say with confidence that the first half lacked anything in the way of action, with neither team seeming able to put a decent move together or pose any danger to the opposition's goal. The Canvey fans were making all of the noise, with the larger fanbase this was perhaps expected but it was still a little surreal to be at a game where the home team didn't have anybody there to cheer them on vocally. In fact the majority of the Concord fans seemed intent on just wandering around up and down the touchline, chatting to people they knew but didn't expect to see there, whilst simultaneously blocking our view.
And therein lied the problem. With an almost fully packed out stadium, the game lost its Non-League feel. We were forced to cram ourselves into our seats and felt as though we were watching a league game, with none of the freedom the smaller games usually bring. A poor view of proceedings coupled with a dreadful first half helped make our minds up to move elsewhere at half time.
Did i mention also that it just so happened to be another freezing cold evening in Essex? By the time half time arrived i felt ready to leave, and i'm sure dressing inappropriately with a lack of gloves and hat had nothing to do with it.
But of course we persevered and took up a standing position by one of the corner flags for the second 45 minutes. We had intended to place ourselves between the dugouts but after a long queue for a half time burger there was only space left at the less desirable places of the ground.
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| You'll just have to believe me when I say that in the distance there's a mass brawl taking place |
So it was from here that we had a largely disappointing view of a second half of not much more action. Indeed, the main talking point occured at the opposite end of the pitch, a mass brawl breaking out after opposing players Matt Game and James Hawes clashed. There was a fair bit of pushing and shoving and how the referee came to the decision to keep all 22 men on the field only he will know.
In comparison with the opening half, the second period did see a few more opportunites created though. First Concord thought they had taken the lead when right midfielder Stokes had a seemingly easy free header at the back post. In fairness to him, the ball may well have crossed the line only for Canvey 'keeper James Russell to claw the ball away in the nick of time (as far as the linesman was concerned anyway). And Canvey too thought they'd grabbed a winner minutes later, only for their effort on goal to be correctly ruled out for offside.
Eventually though with almost the last kick of the game, Concord substitute Claude Seanla grabbed the winner the game didn't really deserve, breaking the hearts of the hundreds of loyal Canvey fans that had kept up their support throughout the match.
We attempted to make a quick getaway to beat the traffic but were fenced in whilst the players left the field, and were thereby treated to the bizarre sight of the Concord players dancing and singing in the centre circle, much to the annoyance of some rather bitter Canvey fans.
Car Park: Full, (so parked in a hedge, adding to the challenge of leaving the car whilst wearing a suit)
Ticket: £8
Programme: £1
Score: 1-0
Attendance: 720
Monday 21 February 2011
Maldon & Tiptree FC v Ilford - 19/02/11
After a forced break last week due to Bob's romantic weekend away in Rome (I wasn't invited), we were eagerly back on the Non-League trail as Maldon & Tiptree were due to host Ilford. Waking up on the morning of the game there was some doubt in my mind as to whether the fixture would go ahead after non-stop torrential rain all morning and most of the night before. Still, we decided to persevere and head on over to the stadium anyway reasoning that if the game was called off, we could easily find a different venue in Essex to watch another match.
It being FA Cup weekend though we decided to watch the Chelsea v Everton replay beforehand, so after locating the stadium we headed back into Maldon town centre to find a pub, and duly found one just minutes from the ground. It was one of those typical local pubs complete with all the usual trimmings, the friendly barman, the one other customer, the child playing pool, the old friendly dog, and of course a brand new wall-mounted flatscreen TV with ESPN on it. I only mention this pre-match outing as it almost caused us to miss the opening of the game. Chelsea and Everton could not be picked apart and so the game moved into Extra-Time at about the same time as we'd usually be wandering the stadium looking a bit silly taking photographs of everything. We decided we'd be really pushing it by seeing out events here so begrudgingly left with 25 minutes of the game still to play. We pulled up at the ground, added as many layers as we could on yet another cold, damp and wet afternoon in Essex, and were making our way up to the turnstiles only to see another guy there with his camera out taking a picture of the Maldon Town FC sign. He'd beaten us to it! Perhaps he had stolen our idea. We really must focus from now to the end of the season and not chance this man beating us to the title of seeing a game at every Non-League game in Essex (levels 6-8). Or perhaps i was over-reacting and he was just a sad, lonely man who likes to take pictures of signs.
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| Small stand but excellent playing surface |
On buying our tickets and entering the ground Bob asked the man at the turnstile if he expected a big crowd today. 'About 6' he muttered, 'and you're number 5'. He was less than enthusiastic but as we never told anybody we were coming here, he'd now surely see through two more people than expected. Hopefully this would cheer him up a little. He did point out though that due to the weather, this game was one of only three in the League that survived the poor conditions and was going ahead, so i guess we got lucky in picking it as our destination.
We opted out of walking around the ground and headed straight to the clubhouse to try and catch a bit more of Chelsea v Everton, taking our seats just in time to see Chelsea take a 1-0 lead in the first half of extra-time. It was warm and comfortable in there and i was in no mood to move but we came here to watch a live game of football, not one on a TV screen screened from an Albanian TV Channel. We found that in order to re-enter the ground we had to walk back around the outside and re-enter through the turnstiles. Perhaps this was an attempt on their part to double attendances?
I think not only have we reported on the games from an unbiased viewpoint, we have also strived to provide a balanced opinion on every other aspect of each visit to each ground. Today was no different and i can strongly recommend when visiting Maldon & Tiptree, to eat beforehand. Sure, they had the usual array of items on the menu, but the burger was one of the worst i've tried so far, and don't even get Bob started on the size of his sausage he picked up that was also grossly overpriced.
Just as the teams were lining up to come out we learned that Everton had forced a late equaliser in their cup tie. So it grieves me to report that although we should have been taking our place in the stands for the kick-off of our game, we instead opted to watch the penalty shoot-out from the televised game instead. We couldn't very well re-enter the clubhouse as that would mean yet another lap of honour in getting back into the ground, and the old man on the turnstiles really would be excited to count yet another 2 lads coming through to watch the game. Luckily, the boardroom was nearby with a clear view to a TV. Turning our back on the Maldon game became less deceitful as i promise that i simultaneously had a clear view of that match too through the reflection in the window.
The penalties over with (a shock Everton win in case you were wondering) we finally headed off to watch the game properly, having not missed anything of note barring a lot of early Maldon pressure. I'm referring to the home team as Maldon instead of Maldon & Tiptree as not only is it less time consuming but Maldon themselves had yet to alter the huge letters above their main stand since the merger had only gone through at the end of last season.
Once again it's difficult to report on proceedings as at the time of writing the match reports are yet to go up on each teams website, so we had no real clue as to which player was which and had to resort to coming up with our own nicknames or listen out for the calls from the players themselves. What was clear to see though was that Maldon looked by far the stronger side as they passed the ball around on the floor continuously, looking for a way through the Ilford back line. It was a credit to them actually that even from the goalkeeper, they rarely used the long ball, instead looked to play the ball out from the back into stronger attacking positions. With their blue and claret striped kit, and neat and tidy short passes they could almost be compared with Barcelona. Well, maybe not, but by the midway point of the first half they seemed to be in control and looked ready to put to shame Ilford's more usual non-league style of play of long balls and wayward passes. It was also clear to see why this was one of the few matches played today, as the game was played out on a fantastic playing surface, which is not something we have been getting used to these past few weeks.
One of the joys of sitting in the stands at non-league football is listening to the people around you. At a Premier League game you'll likely hear a mass of supporters urging their team on, shouting expletives at the ref or their own players, and generally getting caught up in the atmosphere of the game. At Maldon we could hear the mutterings of a man disecting the cost of his latest phone bill to his wife. They were clearly regulars at games such as this and it seems are rarely treated to too much excitement as when the man discovered that Ilford had two players on the pitch wearing number 18, he excitely pointed it out to his wife who responded with an exuberant 'well done honey!', before the two of them went on to talk about this subject for a good 5 minutes.
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| Two number 18's didn't go unnoticed by the crowd |
Their interesting conversation was sharply halted though by a shock goal for the visitors. After a 10 minute lull in play Maldon looked to be stepping up the pressure again when one of their midfielders slipped in the hazardous conditions and gifted the ball to the Ilford left-midfielder. He sprung on a slightly disorganised defence and pulled the ball across the six-yard box for an easy tap in. 1-0 to Ilford just before half-time.
After a quick nip inside in a desperate attempt to warm up, we decided to take on the challenge of getting a seat in this elusive stand on the far side for the second half. We didn't want to stay behind the same goal as we were previously as Maldon would now be attacking the opposite end, and we expected a severe onslaught from the home team in the next 45 minutes. There was no option to locate behind the Ilford goal due to the lack of facilities, with only a sloping, and very wet grass hill welcoming us. It would be a great vantage point to sit and watch a game in the warmer months, but today we were after shelter.
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| Bob's very own stand midway through the 2nd half |
We made it over just in time for kick-off and once again Maldon's neat and tidy passing came into play. It really was all very easy on the eye but they were just not creating anything. The game lacked a spark, nothing was happening, this point emphasized by a guy coming over and chatting to the linesman about another game he would be officiating at the next day. If anything Ilford looked dangerous on the break, and on one occasion even managed to string together 4 passes to a fellow teammate, that resulted in a strike coming off the outside of the post and running wide.
But Maldon's number 8 was slowly pulling the strings in midfield to positive effect. Similar in style to Dimitar Berbatov (a little disinterested and lazy, but with great feet and an eye for a pass) he started to create a few chances, and in fact it was his sharp turn in the box that fooled the defence, allowing him to cut the ball back for an eventual well taken finish to level the scores at 1-1 with 25 minutes still to play.
Despite their dominance Maldon couldn't break down a clearly inferior yet organised Ilford side, who in fact somehow managed to strike the post again in the latter stages and you get the feeling that a draw really doesn't do either team any favours moving into the business end of the season.
From our point of view though, one of the finer venue's we have visited so far, impressive considering it is at the lowest league level we are focusing on.
Ticket: £8
Programme: £1
Score: 1-1
Attendance: 55
During proceedings on Saturday Maldon & Tiptree brought on a striker who was making his debut. It turned out to be none other than fomer Billericay Town and Montserrat legend Ellis Remy! We've only been to a handful of games but that's two players now we have witnessed line up for two different sides.
During proceedings on Saturday Maldon & Tiptree brought on a striker who was making his debut. It turned out to be none other than fomer Billericay Town and Montserrat legend Ellis Remy! We've only been to a handful of games but that's two players now we have witnessed line up for two different sides.
Billericay Town v Maidstone
This weeks blog is a guest post from the good man that is Bob Smith, he who is of course Non-League Touring alongside me. Enjoy.
During research for the game we discovered that Billericay Town have an awful website which made it difficult to find out too much about them. However, using their site and other sources we discovered that the club had a couple of notable players:
Striker Bertie Brayley was one of the brightest prospects in the West Ham youth team that “hammered” Coventry City 9-0 on aggregate in the 1999 youth cup final. Brayley scored 3 goals over the 2 legs, playing alongside future England internationals Michael Carrick and Joe Cole. His career went downhill following his release by the Hammers, he failed to make an impact at QPR or Swindon. Brayley then dropped into non league football initially with Canvey Island. Following 2 years with Canvey he then bounced around the non league scene, failing to settle at numerous clubs. Brayley (now 29) signed for Billericay Town in the summer and committed his future to the club in October. Bertie’s character may be slightly called into question as the club’s own website describe him as having “gained a reputation as a bit of a mercenary”.
Town’s other high profile player is former Jamaica international Micah Hyde who played in the premier league for Watford. Hyde also had a notable youth team career, playing for Brimsdown Rovers, alongside David Beckham.
The visitors Maidstone United (The Stones) seemed to be a more professional outfit judging by their website. They even boast the Maidstone United Hotline (09068 800691), however at 60p per minute I doubt too many people take advantage of the service. United also boast the best Non league fanzine 2009.
Stones striker Danny Hockton played 67 games for Billericay, scoring 35 goals between 2003 and 2005.
Goalkeeper Andy Walker also played for Billericay, however he failed to break into the first team and moved to Maidstone on loan before making a permanent move last year.
Notable former players include Ian Selly and Trinidad and Tobago international Ian Cox who wound down their careers with the Stones, however their most notable former player is current Manchester United defender Chris Smalling who started his career at Maidstone, playing 11 games for the club. Smalling then signed for Fulham in 2008 before making his £10M move to United in January 2010. Sadly for Maidstone, Smalling did not have a playing contract for the club and they therefore did not get a sell on fee from Fulham. Ironically Smalling’s only Maidstone goal came against East Thurrock United, the last club on our tour.
Perusing the program we discovered that although mid table, Billericay were on a 5 game unbeaten run, whereas the visitors sat second bottom despite a decent away record. This was probably due to the fact that they had yet to win any of their 15 home games, which is quite some record. We were also pleased to see that the Stones had a player called Adrian Stone.
We took a similar position in the second half, in the opposite corner, towards the end Billericay were attacking. The Maidstone left back must have thought we were following him. We had hoped that the second half would be more entertaining than the first but for much of the half we were disappointed. It didn’t take long for Town to bring on Bertie Brayley for a disappointed Tony Boot. This struck us as odd, despite not doing too much with the ball, Booty looked far more dangerous than the quiet Cedric Ngakam. Brayley looked like a decent player who linked up well and actually tried to pass the ball, sometimes even on the ground. His team mates were again not so keen on the whole “passing” fad and both sides continued trying to out-hoof eachother. As footballing incidents were rare we found ourselves noticing some other things, such as Brayley’s shorts being inside out, was this a superstition or was his mum not there to dress him? We’ll never know. Maidstone’s centre back Abraham also drew our attention as he was wearing some awful pink boots. However the main source of entertainment was the 5 teenagers who amused themselves by shouting gentle abuse at the linesman for most of the half. With around 5 minutes to go the game sprang into life and the next 8 minutes were more action packed than the previous 85 put together, which to be honest really isn’t saying much. First Billericay put together the best move of the game when they strung together a massive 4 passes in a row which almost led to a chance. Minutes later Town whipped a corner into the near post and Ngakam rose unmarked from 3 yards out, and connected with a combination of his neck and shoulder to somehow put the ball wide. Town had the better of the play by this point and worried the Stones keeper Walker with some dangerous corners. Then in the 92nd minute Walker rushed out of his goal to try and keep the ball in play, however the linesman adjudged that the ball had gone out for a corner. Opinion was mixed amongst the supporters as to whether the ball had actually gone out of play. This didn’t bother Bertie Brayley who curled the resulting corner into the six yard box, Walker was nowhere and Ngakam made up for his earlier miss by scrambling the ball home. There was a slight delay before the celebrations, whether this was due to nobody quite being sure if there was a foul on the keeper or just shock that the ball had found the net but the referee signalled a goal and the crowd went wild. 1-0! The goalkeeper was clearly disappointed with conceding the goal and for the first time all evening he was silent as he had a sit down in his goal to recover for 30 seconds, dejected and alone as his opponents celebrated.
"The next part of our non league tour was the New Lodge in Billericay for the Ryman Premier league game between Billericay Town and Maidstone United.
During research for the game we discovered that Billericay Town have an awful website which made it difficult to find out too much about them. However, using their site and other sources we discovered that the club had a couple of notable players:
Striker Bertie Brayley was one of the brightest prospects in the West Ham youth team that “hammered” Coventry City 9-0 on aggregate in the 1999 youth cup final. Brayley scored 3 goals over the 2 legs, playing alongside future England internationals Michael Carrick and Joe Cole. His career went downhill following his release by the Hammers, he failed to make an impact at QPR or Swindon. Brayley then dropped into non league football initially with Canvey Island. Following 2 years with Canvey he then bounced around the non league scene, failing to settle at numerous clubs. Brayley (now 29) signed for Billericay Town in the summer and committed his future to the club in October. Bertie’s character may be slightly called into question as the club’s own website describe him as having “gained a reputation as a bit of a mercenary”.
Town’s other high profile player is former Jamaica international Micah Hyde who played in the premier league for Watford. Hyde also had a notable youth team career, playing for Brimsdown Rovers, alongside David Beckham.
The visitors Maidstone United (The Stones) seemed to be a more professional outfit judging by their website. They even boast the Maidstone United Hotline (09068 800691), however at 60p per minute I doubt too many people take advantage of the service. United also boast the best Non league fanzine 2009.
Stones striker Danny Hockton played 67 games for Billericay, scoring 35 goals between 2003 and 2005.
Goalkeeper Andy Walker also played for Billericay, however he failed to break into the first team and moved to Maidstone on loan before making a permanent move last year.
Notable former players include Ian Selly and Trinidad and Tobago international Ian Cox who wound down their careers with the Stones, however their most notable former player is current Manchester United defender Chris Smalling who started his career at Maidstone, playing 11 games for the club. Smalling then signed for Fulham in 2008 before making his £10M move to United in January 2010. Sadly for Maidstone, Smalling did not have a playing contract for the club and they therefore did not get a sell on fee from Fulham. Ironically Smalling’s only Maidstone goal came against East Thurrock United, the last club on our tour.
We set out for the New Lodge with plenty of time to spare, giving ourselves over an hour to make the 16 minute trip. However as we’ve found on our tour, non league grounds are very poorly signposted and this was no different, so our journey took double the time Google maps had predicted as we drove around the back streets of Billericay. Luckily we saw some floodlights in the distance and we were on our way. The approach to the ground was one single lane road. As we drove up to the entrance 4 men were standing outside and seemed genuinely surprised to see us. I rolled down the window and asked where to park and one of the men, who was wearing a Billericay town scarf directed us to the world’s smallest car park. Something about this man didn’t seem quite right and I think looking back it was his thick west country accent.
After purchasing our tickets and customary program we did our usual lap of the pitch to find the best viewing spots. We were immediately hit by how cold it was. The ground has one small seated stand, which looked like a temporary stand which had been used for several decades. Other than the “main” stand there were concrete terraces coverered with corrugated iron roofs, behind which were fences, and when I say fences I mean actual fence panels like you would find in any garden. The metal parts of the ground were rusting and the concrete no always stable, with one area behind a goal coned off. The whole ground looked quite dirty and outdated. The club did have a very nice clubhouse though and we handed over £5.80 to the barman for a pint of lager and a pint of cider whilst we sat in the warm watching highlights of Genoa vs AC Milan.
Perusing the program we discovered that although mid table, Billericay were on a 5 game unbeaten run, whereas the visitors sat second bottom despite a decent away record. This was probably due to the fact that they had yet to win any of their 15 home games, which is quite some record. We were also pleased to see that the Stones had a player called Adrian Stone. With just minutes left until kick off we ventured back outside into the cold to get some much needed pre match food. However the players were just about to come out of the makeshift tunnel (2 large gates) which meant our route was blocked to the food shed on the other side and we had an agonising wait while the overly officious officials kept the players (and us) waiting. During this wait we got our first glimpse of the players and in particular skipper Micah Hyde. Hyde looked nothing like I remembered him, his skin was much lighter and he did not have the kind smiling face I had remembered. Certainly not the laid-back Jamaican I had remembered from the old days at Watford. Then as all of the players were just about ready to make their way onto the hallowed turf, Micah let out a loud captain’s roar of “Come on boys, let’s go to work!”
I for one was certainly pleased that they players were about to start work as it meant that the tunnel was removed and we could make our way to get some food. Several delights were on the menu, including pies and steak rolls, however we were advised by the lady serving us that they only had burgers, hot dogs and chips available which was rather disappointing. We both ordered a cheeseburger and chips and to our surprise the chips were being kept warm in a cardboard box, the sort that multiple packs of paper come in. Health and safety clearly hadn’t been to this snack hut for a while and neither had the food delivery men!
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| Appetising menu - but nothing seemed to be in stock! |
We watched the first half in one corner of the ground, towards the end Billericay were attacking. To our surprise the former West Ham man Bertie Brayley had been left on the bench as Town had opted instead for a front pairing of Cedric Ngakam and Tony Boot. We immediately warmed to “Booty”, who showed some nice touches early on and it wasn’t long before he forced the Stones keeper into a save, Boot flicking the ball over the head of a defender a la Paul Gasgoigne vs Scotland but with more time than he realised his shot was poor. We hoped that this might spark the game into life, however the first half continued without much real incident. From the very first minute the Stones keeper Andy Walker was very vocal, constantly shouting encouragement and tips to his team mates. He kept this up for almost the whole game. Both midfields were bypassed as the long ball was favoured. Hyde did show some composure but didn’t really stand out and was very quiet for a captain, bar his pre-match rallying call, perhaps he was Hyde-ing.
0-0 at half time, and neither side had really looked like scoring.
We took a similar position in the second half, in the opposite corner, towards the end Billericay were attacking. The Maidstone left back must have thought we were following him. We had hoped that the second half would be more entertaining than the first but for much of the half we were disappointed. It didn’t take long for Town to bring on Bertie Brayley for a disappointed Tony Boot. This struck us as odd, despite not doing too much with the ball, Booty looked far more dangerous than the quiet Cedric Ngakam. Brayley looked like a decent player who linked up well and actually tried to pass the ball, sometimes even on the ground. His team mates were again not so keen on the whole “passing” fad and both sides continued trying to out-hoof eachother. As footballing incidents were rare we found ourselves noticing some other things, such as Brayley’s shorts being inside out, was this a superstition or was his mum not there to dress him? We’ll never know. Maidstone’s centre back Abraham also drew our attention as he was wearing some awful pink boots. However the main source of entertainment was the 5 teenagers who amused themselves by shouting gentle abuse at the linesman for most of the half. With around 5 minutes to go the game sprang into life and the next 8 minutes were more action packed than the previous 85 put together, which to be honest really isn’t saying much. First Billericay put together the best move of the game when they strung together a massive 4 passes in a row which almost led to a chance. Minutes later Town whipped a corner into the near post and Ngakam rose unmarked from 3 yards out, and connected with a combination of his neck and shoulder to somehow put the ball wide. Town had the better of the play by this point and worried the Stones keeper Walker with some dangerous corners. Then in the 92nd minute Walker rushed out of his goal to try and keep the ball in play, however the linesman adjudged that the ball had gone out for a corner. Opinion was mixed amongst the supporters as to whether the ball had actually gone out of play. This didn’t bother Bertie Brayley who curled the resulting corner into the six yard box, Walker was nowhere and Ngakam made up for his earlier miss by scrambling the ball home. There was a slight delay before the celebrations, whether this was due to nobody quite being sure if there was a foul on the keeper or just shock that the ball had found the net but the referee signalled a goal and the crowd went wild. 1-0! The goalkeeper was clearly disappointed with conceding the goal and for the first time all evening he was silent as he had a sit down in his goal to recover for 30 seconds, dejected and alone as his opponents celebrated. For the first time in the game, the Billericay crowd actually made some noise as they cheered what would surely be the winner! Stoppage time was nearly up when Ngakam, with his new found confidence robbed a Maidstone defender and strode towards goal, could this be his second? No. His shot going just wide.
The Billericay fans were in high spirits as the final whistle blew. All it took was a goal for them to find their voices, if only it had come earlier."
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