Concord Rangers v Canvey Island

This was supposed to be the big one.  The 'ConCan' Derby as we had dubbed it.  We'd been talking about this game for weeks before the big date arrived.  We were off to see Concord v Canvey.  The Island derby would give us an opportunity to saviour both Canvey based teams.  We obviously were not the only ones excited as before the match the Concord website warned punters to arrive early in order to get through the turnstiles in time for kick off. 

Islanders out in force to support their teams

Not only are these two teams located just a few miles apart, they also haven't clashed in the league since the early 90's.  Interest in the game was obviously high, as on arrival we had our first new experience since beginning the Non-League tour at Braintree all those weeks ago - a long queue to get into the ground.  The website wasn't lieing. 

By the time we had entered the ground and grabbed a tea and a programme we barely had time to soak up the atmosphere as kick off was imminent.  We grabbed a seat in the third row of one of the stands and eagerly awaited the teams.  Due to the large quantity of fans i shamefully shirked my responsibilities and neglected to take too many pictures or make many notes, as i felt a bit out of place sitting there in my suit and didn't feel the desire to attract more attention to myself.  Everyone around us seemed friendly though, in fact everyone around us seemed to know everyone else for some reason or other.  It seemed the majority of Canvey had turned up, along with their kids. 



The Teams line up before Kick-Off



The game itself though was a bitter disappointment.  The players were understandably nervy about the pressure of making a mistake, and there was very little in the way of high quality football being played.  Despite not taking notes i can say with confidence that the first half lacked anything in the way of action, with neither team seeming able to put a decent move together or pose any danger to the opposition's goal.  The Canvey fans were making all of the noise, with the larger fanbase this was perhaps expected but it was still a little surreal to be at a game where the home team didn't have anybody there to cheer them on vocally.  In fact the majority of the Concord fans seemed intent on just wandering around up and down the touchline, chatting to people they knew but didn't expect to see there, whilst simultaneously blocking our view.



And therein lied the problem.  With an almost fully packed out stadium, the game lost its Non-League feel.  We were forced to cram ourselves into our seats and felt as though we were watching a league game, with none of the freedom the smaller games usually bring.  A poor view of proceedings coupled with a dreadful first half helped make our minds up to move elsewhere at half time.

Did i mention also that it just so happened to be another freezing cold evening in Essex?  By the time half time arrived i felt ready to leave, and i'm sure dressing inappropriately with a lack of gloves and hat had nothing to do with it. 

But of course we persevered and took up a standing position by one of the corner flags for the second 45 minutes.  We had intended to place ourselves between the dugouts but after a long queue for a half time burger there was only space left at the less desirable places of the ground. 

You'll just have to believe me when I say
that in the distance there's a mass brawl
taking place

So it was from here that we had a largely disappointing view of a second half of not much more action.  Indeed, the main talking point occured at the opposite end of the pitch, a mass brawl breaking out after opposing players Matt Game and James Hawes clashed.  There was a fair bit of pushing and shoving and how the referee came to the decision to keep all 22 men on the field only he will know.

In comparison with the opening half, the second period did see a few more opportunites created though.  First Concord thought they had taken the lead when right midfielder Stokes had a seemingly easy free header at the back post.  In fairness to him, the ball may well have crossed the line only for Canvey 'keeper James Russell to claw the ball away in the nick of time (as far as the linesman was concerned anyway).  And Canvey too thought they'd grabbed a winner minutes later, only for their effort on goal to be correctly ruled out for offside.

Eventually though with almost the last kick of the game, Concord substitute Claude Seanla grabbed the winner the game didn't really deserve, breaking the hearts of the hundreds of loyal Canvey fans that had kept up their support throughout the match. 

We attempted to make a quick getaway to beat the traffic but were fenced in whilst the players left the field, and were thereby treated to the bizarre sight of the Concord players dancing and singing in the centre circle, much to the annoyance of some rather bitter Canvey fans.

Car Park: Full, (so parked in a hedge, adding to the challenge of leaving the car whilst wearing a suit)

Ticket: £8

Programme: £1

Score: 1-0

Attendance: 720

Maldon & Tiptree FC v Ilford - 19/02/11

After a forced break last week due to Bob's romantic weekend away in Rome (I wasn't invited), we were eagerly back on the Non-League trail as Maldon & Tiptree were due to host Ilford.  Waking up on the morning of the game there was some doubt in my mind as to whether the fixture would go ahead after non-stop torrential rain all morning and most of the night before.  Still, we decided to persevere and head on over to the stadium anyway reasoning that if the game was called off, we could easily find a different venue in Essex to watch another match. 

It being FA Cup weekend though we decided to watch the Chelsea v Everton replay beforehand, so after locating the stadium we headed back into Maldon town centre to find a pub, and duly found one just minutes from the ground.  It was one of those typical local pubs complete with all the usual trimmings, the friendly barman, the one other customer, the child playing pool, the old friendly dog, and of course a brand new wall-mounted flatscreen TV with ESPN on it.  I only mention this pre-match outing as it almost caused us to miss the opening of the game.  Chelsea and Everton could not be picked apart and so the game moved into Extra-Time at about the same time as we'd usually be wandering the stadium looking a bit silly taking photographs of everything.  We decided we'd be really pushing it by seeing out events here so begrudgingly left with 25 minutes of the game still to play. 

We pulled up at the ground, added as many layers as we could on yet another cold, damp and wet afternoon in Essex, and were making our way up to the turnstiles only to see another guy there with his camera out taking a picture of the Maldon Town FC sign.  He'd beaten us to it!  Perhaps he had stolen our idea.  We really must focus from now to the end of the season and not chance this man beating us to the title of seeing a game at every Non-League game in Essex (levels 6-8).  Or perhaps i was over-reacting and he was just a sad, lonely man who likes to take pictures of signs.

Small stand but excellent playing surface

On buying our tickets and entering the ground Bob asked the man at the turnstile if he expected a big crowd today.  'About 6' he muttered, 'and you're number 5'.  He was less than enthusiastic but as we never told anybody we were coming here, he'd now surely see through two more people than expected.  Hopefully this would cheer him up a little.  He did point out though that due to the weather, this game was one of only three in the League that survived the poor conditions and was going ahead, so i guess we got lucky in picking it as our destination.

We opted out of walking around the ground and headed straight to the clubhouse to try and catch a bit more of Chelsea v Everton, taking our seats just in time to see Chelsea take a 1-0 lead in the first half of extra-time.  It was warm and comfortable in there and i was in no mood to move but we came here to watch a live game of football, not one on a TV screen screened from an Albanian TV Channel.  We found that in order to re-enter the ground we had to walk back around the outside and re-enter through the turnstiles.  Perhaps this was an attempt on their part to double attendances?

I think not only have we reported on the games from an unbiased viewpoint, we have also strived to provide a balanced opinion on every other aspect of each visit to each ground.  Today was no different and i can strongly recommend when visiting Maldon & Tiptree, to eat beforehand.  Sure, they had the usual array of items on the menu, but the burger was one of the worst i've tried so far, and don't even get Bob started on the size of his sausage he picked up that was also grossly overpriced. 

Just as the teams were lining up to come out we learned that Everton had forced a late equaliser in their cup tie.  So it grieves me to report that although we should have been taking our place in the stands for the kick-off of our game, we instead opted to watch the penalty shoot-out from the televised game instead.  We couldn't very well re-enter the clubhouse as that would mean yet another lap of honour in getting back into the ground, and the old man on the turnstiles really would be excited to count yet another 2 lads coming through to watch the game.  Luckily, the boardroom was nearby with a clear view to a TV.  Turning our back on the Maldon game became less deceitful as i promise that i simultaneously had a clear view of that match too through the reflection in the window.

The penalties over with (a shock Everton win in case you were wondering) we finally headed off to watch the game properly, having not missed anything of note barring a lot of early Maldon pressure.  I'm referring to the home team as Maldon instead of Maldon & Tiptree as not only is it less time consuming but Maldon themselves had yet to alter the huge letters above their main stand since the merger had only gone through at the end of last season.

We wanted to locate ourselves at the stand opposite as it was completely empty excluding one man who was spoilt for choice with where to sit.  Such were his vast options he obviously seemed confused as he opted to stand and watch the game instead.  As we wandered behind the goal during yet another Maldon attack it soon became clear as to why this man was alone, the complete end of the walkway was underwater with seemingly no way past.  Undeterred we settled behind the goal and tried to focus more on the game.

Once again it's difficult to report on proceedings as at the time of writing the match reports are yet to go up on each teams website, so we had no real clue as to which player was which and had to resort to coming up with our own nicknames or listen out for the calls from the players themselves.  What was clear to see though was that Maldon looked by far the stronger side as they passed the ball around on the floor continuously, looking for a way through the Ilford back line.  It was a credit to them actually that even from the goalkeeper, they rarely used the long ball, instead looked to play the ball out from the back into stronger attacking positions.  With their blue and claret striped kit, and neat and tidy short passes they could almost be compared with Barcelona.  Well, maybe not, but by the midway point of the first half they seemed to be in control and looked ready to put to shame Ilford's more usual non-league style of play of long balls and wayward passes.  It was also clear to see why this was one of the few matches played today, as the game was played out on a fantastic playing surface, which is not something we have been getting used to these past few weeks.



One of the joys of sitting in the stands at non-league football is listening to the people around you.  At a Premier League game you'll likely hear a mass of supporters urging their team on, shouting expletives at the ref or their own players, and generally getting caught up in the atmosphere of the game.  At Maldon we could hear the mutterings of a man disecting the cost of his latest phone bill to his wife.  They were clearly regulars at games such as this and it seems are rarely treated to too much excitement as when the man discovered that Ilford had two players on the pitch wearing number 18, he excitely pointed it out to his wife who responded with an exuberant 'well done honey!', before the two of them went on to talk about this subject for a good 5 minutes.



Two number 18's didn't go unnoticed by the crowd



Their interesting conversation was sharply halted though by a shock goal for the visitors.  After a 10 minute lull in play Maldon looked to be stepping up the pressure again when one of their midfielders slipped in the hazardous conditions and gifted the ball to the Ilford left-midfielder.  He sprung on a slightly disorganised defence and pulled the ball across the six-yard box for an easy tap in.  1-0 to Ilford just before half-time. 

After a quick nip inside in a desperate attempt to warm up, we decided to take on the challenge of getting a seat in this elusive stand on the far side for the second half.  We didn't want to stay behind the same goal as we were previously as Maldon would now be attacking the opposite end, and we expected a severe onslaught from the home team in the next 45 minutes.  There was no option to locate behind the Ilford goal due to the lack of facilities, with only a sloping, and very wet grass hill welcoming us.  It would be a great vantage point to sit and watch a game in the warmer months, but today we were after shelter. 



Bob's very own stand midway through the 2nd half



We made it over just in time for kick-off and once again Maldon's neat and tidy passing came into play.  It really was all very easy on the eye but they were just not creating anything.  The game lacked a spark, nothing was happening, this point emphasized by a guy coming over and chatting to the linesman about another game he would be officiating at the next day.  If anything Ilford looked dangerous on the break, and on one occasion even managed to string together 4 passes to a fellow teammate, that resulted in a strike coming off the outside of the post and running wide.

But Maldon's number 8 was slowly pulling the strings in midfield to positive effect.  Similar in style to Dimitar Berbatov (a little disinterested and lazy, but with great feet and an eye for a pass) he started to create a few chances, and in fact it was his sharp turn in the box that fooled the defence, allowing him to cut the ball back for an eventual well taken finish to level the scores at 1-1 with 25 minutes still to play.

Despite their dominance Maldon couldn't break down a clearly inferior yet organised Ilford side, who in fact somehow managed to strike the post again in the latter stages and you get the feeling that a draw really doesn't do either team any favours moving into the business end of the season.

From our point of view though, one of the finer venue's we have visited so far, impressive considering it is at the lowest league level we are focusing on.

Ticket: £8

Programme: £1

Score: 1-1

Attendance: 55

During proceedings on Saturday Maldon & Tiptree brought on a striker who was making his debut.  It turned out to be none other than fomer Billericay Town and Montserrat legend Ellis Remy!  We've only been to a handful of games but that's two players now we have witnessed line up for two different sides.

Billericay Town v Maidstone

This weeks blog is a guest post from the good man that is Bob Smith, he who is of course Non-League Touring alongside me.  Enjoy.

"The next part of our non league tour was the New Lodge in Billericay for the Ryman Premier league game between Billericay Town and Maidstone United.

During research for the game we discovered that Billericay Town have an awful website which made it difficult to find out too much about them. However, using their site and other sources we discovered that the club had a couple of notable players:


Striker Bertie Brayley was one of the brightest prospects in the West Ham youth team that “hammered” Coventry City 9-0 on aggregate in the 1999 youth cup final. Brayley scored 3 goals over the 2 legs, playing alongside future England internationals Michael Carrick and Joe Cole. His career went downhill following his release by the Hammers, he failed to make an impact at QPR or Swindon. Brayley then dropped into non league football initially with Canvey Island. Following 2 years with Canvey he then bounced around the non league scene, failing to settle at numerous clubs. Brayley (now 29) signed for Billericay Town in the summer and committed his future to the club in October. Bertie’s character may be slightly called into question as the club’s own website describe him as having “gained a reputation as a bit of a mercenary”.

Town’s other high profile player is former Jamaica international Micah Hyde who played in the premier league for Watford. Hyde also had a notable youth team career, playing for Brimsdown Rovers, alongside David Beckham.


The visitors Maidstone United (The Stones) seemed to be a more professional outfit judging by their website. They even boast the Maidstone United Hotline (09068 800691), however at 60p per minute I doubt too many people take advantage of the service. United also boast the best Non league fanzine 2009.
Stones striker Danny Hockton played 67 games for Billericay, scoring 35 goals between 2003 and 2005.
Goalkeeper Andy Walker also played for Billericay, however he failed to break into the first team and moved to Maidstone on loan before making a permanent move last year.

Notable former players include Ian Selly and Trinidad and Tobago international Ian Cox who wound down their careers with the Stones, however their most notable former player is current Manchester United defender Chris Smalling who started his career at Maidstone, playing 11 games for the club. Smalling then signed for Fulham in 2008 before making his £10M move to United in January 2010. Sadly for Maidstone, Smalling did not have a playing contract for the club and they therefore did not get a sell on fee from Fulham. Ironically Smalling’s only Maidstone goal came against East Thurrock United, the last club on our tour.

We set out for the New Lodge with plenty of time to spare, giving ourselves over an hour to make the 16 minute trip. However as we’ve found on our tour, non league grounds are very poorly signposted and this was no different, so our journey took double the time Google maps had predicted as we drove around the back streets of Billericay. Luckily we saw some floodlights in the distance and we were on our way. The approach to the ground was one single lane road. As we drove up to the entrance 4 men were standing outside and seemed genuinely surprised to see us. I rolled down the window and asked where to park and one of the men, who was wearing a Billericay town scarf directed us to the world’s smallest car park. Something about this man didn’t seem quite right and I think looking back it was his thick west country accent.

After purchasing our tickets and customary program we did our usual lap of the pitch to find the best viewing spots. We were immediately hit by how cold it was. The ground has one small seated stand, which looked like a temporary stand which had been used for several decades. Other than the “main” stand there were concrete terraces coverered with corrugated iron roofs, behind which were fences, and when I say fences I mean actual fence panels like you would find in any garden. The metal parts of the ground were rusting and the concrete no always stable, with one area behind a goal coned off. The whole ground looked quite dirty and outdated. The club did have a very nice clubhouse though and we handed over £5.80 to the barman for a pint of lager and a pint of cider whilst we sat in the warm watching highlights of Genoa vs AC Milan.

Perusing the program we discovered that although mid table, Billericay were on a 5 game unbeaten run, whereas the visitors sat second bottom despite a decent away record. This was probably due to the fact that they had yet to win any of their 15 home games, which is quite some record. We were also pleased to see that the Stones had a player called Adrian Stone.

With just minutes left until kick off we ventured back outside into the cold to get some much needed pre match food. However the players were just about to come out of the makeshift tunnel (2 large gates) which meant our route was blocked to the food shed on the other side and we had an agonising wait while the overly officious officials kept the players (and us) waiting. During this wait we got our first glimpse of the players and in particular skipper Micah Hyde. Hyde looked nothing like I remembered him, his skin was much lighter and he did not have the kind smiling face I had remembered. Certainly not the laid-back Jamaican I had remembered from the old days at Watford. Then as all of the players were just about ready to make their way onto the hallowed turf, Micah let out a loud captain’s roar of “Come on boys, let’s go to work!”

I for one was certainly pleased that they players were about to start work as it meant that the tunnel was removed and we could make our way to get some food. Several delights were on the menu, including pies and steak rolls, however we were advised by the lady serving us that they only had burgers, hot dogs and chips available which was rather disappointing. We both ordered a cheeseburger and chips and to our surprise the chips were being kept warm in a cardboard box, the sort that multiple packs of paper come in. Health and safety clearly hadn’t been to this snack hut for a while and neither had the food delivery men!



Appetising menu - but nothing seemed to be in stock!

We watched the first half in one corner of the ground, towards the end Billericay were attacking. To our surprise the former West Ham man Bertie Brayley had been left on the bench as Town had opted instead for a front pairing of Cedric Ngakam and Tony Boot. We immediately warmed to “Booty”, who showed some nice touches early on and it wasn’t long before he forced the Stones keeper into a save, Boot flicking the ball over the head of a defender a la Paul Gasgoigne vs Scotland but with more time than he realised his shot was poor. We hoped that this might spark the game into life, however the first half continued without much real incident. From the very first minute the Stones keeper Andy Walker was very vocal, constantly shouting encouragement and tips to his team mates. He kept this up for almost the whole game. Both midfields were bypassed as the long ball was favoured. Hyde did show some composure but didn’t really stand out and was very quiet for a captain, bar his pre-match rallying call, perhaps he was Hyde-ing.

0-0 at half time, and neither side had really looked like scoring.

We took a similar position in the second half, in the opposite corner, towards the end Billericay were attacking. The Maidstone left back must have thought we were following him. We had hoped that the second half would be more entertaining than the first but for much of the half we were disappointed. It didn’t take long for Town to bring on Bertie Brayley for a disappointed Tony Boot. This struck us as odd, despite not doing too much with the ball, Booty looked far more dangerous than the quiet Cedric Ngakam. Brayley looked like a decent player who linked up well and actually tried to pass the ball, sometimes even on the ground. His team mates were again not so keen on the whole “passing” fad and both sides continued trying to out-hoof eachother. As footballing incidents were rare we found ourselves noticing some other things, such as Brayley’s shorts being inside out, was this a superstition or was his mum not there to dress him? We’ll never know. Maidstone’s centre back Abraham also drew our attention as he was wearing some awful pink boots. However the main source of entertainment was the 5 teenagers who amused themselves by shouting gentle abuse at the linesman for most of the half. With around 5 minutes to go the game sprang into life and the next 8 minutes were more action packed than the previous 85 put together, which to be honest really isn’t saying much. First Billericay put together the best move of the game when they strung together a massive 4 passes in a row which almost led to a chance. Minutes later Town whipped a corner into the near post and Ngakam rose unmarked from 3 yards out, and connected with a combination of his neck and shoulder to somehow put the ball wide. Town had the better of the play by this point and worried the Stones keeper Walker with some dangerous corners. Then in the 92nd minute Walker rushed out of his goal to try and keep the ball in play, however the linesman adjudged that the ball had gone out for a corner. Opinion was mixed amongst the supporters as to whether the ball had actually gone out of play. This didn’t bother Bertie Brayley who curled the resulting corner into the six yard box, Walker was nowhere and Ngakam made up for his earlier miss by scrambling the ball home. There was a slight delay before the celebrations, whether this was due to nobody quite being sure if there was a foul on the keeper or just shock that the ball had found the net but the referee signalled a goal and the crowd went wild. 1-0! The goalkeeper was clearly disappointed with conceding the goal and for the first time all evening he was silent as he had a sit down in his goal to recover for 30 seconds, dejected and alone as his opponents celebrated.

For the first time in the game, the Billericay crowd actually made some noise as they cheered what would surely be the winner! Stoppage time was nearly up when Ngakam, with his new found confidence robbed a Maidstone defender and strode towards goal, could this be his second? No. His shot going just wide.

The Billericay fans were in high spirits as the final whistle blew. All it took was a goal for them to find their voices, if only it had come earlier."

East Thurrock v Waltham Abbey - Saturday 5th February

Entrance to the ground

A week after the excitiment of Thurrock we decided to return to the area and take in the delights of their smaller neighbours, East Thurrock.  Smaller in terms of league standing and history they may be but East Thurrock are having a good season and pushing Needham Market all the way in the chase for the Ryman Division 1 North title.



We arrived at the ground on probably one of the windiest match days ever seen at Rookery Hill, my claim backed up by my wonderful photograph of a corner flag.  With the wind blowing from one end of the pitch to the other, it was clearly going to be a difficult game to be a part of and the conditions would surely prevent any decent football from being played.  Based on previous experiences of attending football at this level, teams tend to play the long ball with little free-flowing football on the ground, and if that was to be the case again today then we would really be in for a torrid time. 

Just look at that wind!

The stadium announcer seemed to be of the same opinion as us as his less than enthusiastic introduction of the two teams rang out around the ground.  Either he really didn't want the job or East Thurrock had intentionally hired the man with the most boring voice in Essex to keep the small crowd there in the loop as to who was playing on each team.  Even the announcement of Connie's 80th birthday couldn't raise any further excitement from the man's voice.  With his droll tones combined with the fierce wind we couldn't really make out most of the players that were selected so would have to opt for giving the most influential players nicknames of our own as a means of differenciating them from each other.  One player that we did realise was missing was East Thurrock top scorer Kris Newby.  Seeing as he has grabbed the majority of the home sides goals this season, we felt this could be another sign of a difficult match to come



The young mascot gets to warm up with the players

 Before the game kicked off we of course grabbed the now obligatory burger and cup of tea.  Our search for a non-league pie yet again proving to be fruitless.  Food and beverage in hand we took to wandering the ground and trying to find the best place that would keep us sheltered from the wind without obscuring our view of the pitch.  Rookery Hill goes down as being the ground where you are most likely to suffer a serious injury or at least spill your cup of tea all over yourself at some point, as Health and Safety didn't really seem to be top of the club's agenda with loose concrete blocks jutting out all over the place.

Still, we were still in one piece as the game got underway and within minutes the long ball tactic was clearly being deployed by both teams despite the blustery conditions, as both goalkeepers got an early touch of the ball.  The first half in its entirety was indeed a very dull affair with the only player of note that seemed to be trying to make an impact on the game with some well thought out passes was East Thurrock right-back Ryan Sammons.  His desire to always want the ball and efforts to play his passes into attacking areas of the pitch were not really matched by any of his team-mates.  To try and find ways to keep ourselves entertained we took to watching how many boats went past the ground along the Thames in the far distance.  It couldn't have been a busy shipping day though as we sadly only counted one.  So we turned our attention to trying to count the attendance, neither of us could see more than 100 but there must have been people hiding as the offical attendance would later be announced as 122 (2 more than expected!).  In fact it wasn't actually announced, it wasn't even posted on the website, it took an email to the club from Bob a few days after the game to confirm the figure, but to their credit they did get back to us and told us to let them know if we needed any other information.



Boat passing in distance the highlight of the first half



A first half with no clear cut chances combined with the miserable stadium announcer at half time, didn't really fill us with much faith for the second half.  But things did pick up a little after the break and with East Thurrock with their backs to the wind and attacking the end where we were situated, we were treated to a slightly more entertaining game.  The home sides strikers started to link up well, with one of them constantly holding the ball up well with his chest and getting his team-mate with the brightly coloured boots into the game more.  In fact 'Chesty' and 'Yellow Boots' were starting to cause trouble for the Waltham defence and the breakthrough didn't take long in coming after the restart as on 51mins they took a scruffy lead, with the announcer confirming Max Cornhill as the goalscorer.  'Ol' yellow boots was soon taken off though but replaced by 'Green Boots' as the pressure kept coming.  The small crowd of youths that were making up the majority of the vocal support became ever more excited and annoying as East Thurrock forced a penalty and the opportunity of a two goal cushion after about 70 minutes.  Joe Keith calmly took responsibility and dispatched the ball past the Abbey keeper but not before the hilarious scene of both him and the referee attempting to get the ball to sit still on the spot for long enough for Keith to complete his run up.  Shouts from the sideline for the referee to put his finger on the ball brought back memories from playground football, but at one point it did seem as though there may not be an alternative as the ball just wouldn't stick.

Keith struggles to keep the ball on the spot

Perhaps East Thurrock got a touch complacent after that as to their credit Waltham Abbey never gave up and halved the deficit on the counter attack despite the near impossible wind that was by now even making it difficult for the goalkeeper to clear his lines without the ball coming floating back towards him. 

But East Thurrock held on for a 2-1 win and even had another chance or two of their own, with one effort cleared off the line in the closing stages. 

Parking: Free (There was a car park but we were not sure if it was for the ground or the inhabitants of nearby caravans, so to avoid the risk of any confrontations we parked at a nearby pub instead)

Ticket: £8

Programme: £1

Score: 2-1

Attendance: 122

Follow the 'Lima 'Lima!

Thurrock v Eastleigh

After the mid-week appearance at Ryman North Division One Brentwood we had to make a decision on where to go next.  There really is no structure to our tour, other than to take a look at the forthcoming fixtures, do a minimal amount of research and see if there's any particular player at any club that makes us want to go there next.  Such is the concern for this lack of direction that Bob decided to up the stakes, betting me that we couldn't get to all of the clubs before my 27th Birthday in October.  Granted, the stakes are still low as my birthday is ages away, but at least now we have a target.

So, to look for the best option for a game on the last weekend of January.  There were a handful of non-league essex teams that were available on this day, and we were slowly making our way through each clubs respective websites when Bob stumbled across something that would immediately make our minds up for us.  In the first game of the tour we mentioned a certain Mr Paul 'O Lima who played and was then released by Lewes after a difficult game against top of the table Braintree.  And all of a sudden, here was his beaming face once again, top of the news page on Thurrock's website.  It turns out he had been a bit of a fans favourite at Thurrock and after his difficult trip to Lewes, the great man had returned once more. 

Information on most of the players we are watching can be scarce and difficult to get hold of.  So Bob took it upon himself to get in touch with the Press Office at Thurrock to see what else he could find out.  He sent out the following email...

Dear Sirs,

We are currently in the process of writing a piece on non-league football and it has come to our attention that Paul O' Lima is to make his comeback for Thurrock.

Our plan is to experience several games at Non-League level and write about our findings and draw comparisons with Premier League and league football.  For this project an associate and I attended a recent game between Braintree Town and Lewes in which Paul O'Lima featured prominently.  We were therefore surprised that Paul was released by the club 2 days later.

We would be very grateful if you could provide us any quotes either from Thurrock FC or Paul O'Lima directly regarding the reasons for his release by Lewes and also his happy return to Thurrock.

Any help you could give me would be greatly appreciated.

We will also be attending the match on Saturday against Eastleigh and the game will feature in our piece.

Many thanks and best regards,

Rob Smith

He wasn't expecting much of a response yet within 2 hours a reply came back...

Rob,

Give me a buzz when you get to the game on Saturday, i'll give you everything you need, I'll speak to Paul and see if he wants to chat to you.  I'm sure he will, he's one of the nicest people i've ever met, either in football or beyond.

Paul also has a bit of a cult status amongst our fans, might be worth you chatting to some of us and I can also provide you with our 'View From The Terraces'  written by a fan which goes into the programme every week when it featured Paul.

My number is 07********5

I look forward to speaking to you on Saturday,

Tony

What a man Tony is!  Not only did he get back in touch, he wanted us to give him a 'buzz'.  And as for Paul, we'd accidently tagged our journey with a non-league player, and it turns out that the one we'd be paired with just so happens to be one of the nicest people, not just in football, but beyond! 

So it was with great excitement that we drove down to Ship Lane on an absolutely freezing cold Saturday afternoon in anticipation of events that lay ahead.

Thurrock v Eastleigh - Saturday 29/01/2011

We turned up a little earlier than usual for this match, took a quick wander around the ground and then called Tony.  He was already there, enjoying a pre-match drink in the clubhouse and invited us to join him.  He bought us a beer and gave us a whirlwind run-through of some of Thurrock's greatest moments, and the rivalry between other local clubs.  You could tell that Tony was a man that enjoyed his job, sure he was the press-officer there, but primarily he was a fan of Thurrock FC.  During this chat he also tipped us off about a trip to Harlow - a club we had somehow omitted from our list - inadvertently extending our mission.  Thanks Tony!  We had hoped to meet Paul O'Lima before the game but he wasn't around.  Still, it was a good feeling to be accepted at the club, a reception that i am pretty sure we would not have got from a club at a higher level.

After the time it took to drink our pints, Tony excused himself as he had club issues to attend to, but invited us to meet him after the game, or to even come round during the match to join in the home teams 'fantastic support'. 

So off we went to take our place in the one main stand before kick-off.  On the way i grabbed a match programme and did plan to have a quick browse in the club shop only to discover it was closed.  It would later be revealed that this was due to the shop worker also being the programme seller, and she of course couldn't be in two places at once.

The teams line up

The game began with Eastleigh looking the stronger team as Thurrock opted for the long ball that lacked any great purpose or direction.  Eastleigh lapped up these long balls with ease and took a deserved lead after only 11 minutes.  I'd like to tell you all about the opening goal from former Spurs trainee Jamie Slabber, but unfortunately i'd taken it upon myself at that precise moment to take a trip to the toilet.  I don't know why exactly i waited until the game to begin before disappearing off, especially as Thurrock is a ground that possibly has more toilets than fans.  They are everywhere.  I returned to see out a rather uneventful first half unfold with the only real talking points being another great opportunity for Slabber about mid-way through the half, only for him to be thwarted by a good save from the keeper.  Thurrocks best chance came from a superb volley that only just looped over the bar from right-midfielder Matt Bodkin.  This strike caused me to lean back and snap my chair in excitement, so we took this as the perfect time to relocate to elsewhere in the ground.  As we made our way around the pitch on about 34 minutes, Thurrock equalised through a header from midfielder Kenny Clark, and even from our position at the opposite end of the ground we could make our an absolutely delighted Tony Flood on the terraces behind the goal, wheeling away in excitement to where the players were celebrating.

Fans favourite O'Lima warming up

Half-time soon arrived and against our better judgement we stayed out in the freezing cold to watch the subs (including our guy Paul O'Lima) warm up.  They also had a young portuguese lad Joao Carlos who was obviously not taking the warm up seriously but looked like he enjoyed playing the game.  Tony had tipped us about this guy being a great talent but just needing to learn the game a little more, as right now his talent is a bit raw.  He'd make an appearance in the second half and Tony was not wrong, the tricky winger causing all sorts of problems for the Eastleigh back line.

The fans got their first glimpse of the day from O'Lima after 55 minutes when he emerged from the dugout to warm up.  Immediately they began chanting his name, with cries of 'follow the Lima! Lima!' resonating from behind the goal.  It has to be said that the overall attendance from the home team was disappointing, but the support from those there was the best we have seen yet.  There was a small hardcore group of fans (including our man Tony) based behind the goal that didn't stop supporting their team from start to finish.  They didn't take themselves too seriously, and kept a steady conveyer-belt of football anthems come drifting across the pitch to cheer their team on.

And they got what they wanted and what their efforts deserved with a little over 10 minutes to go as the home side were awarded a penalty for handball, an opportunity that Jamie Richards wasn't going to miss. 

The game finished in a 2-1 victory for the home side, pulling their club further away from the relegation zone and taking their unbeaten run to 5 games after a dreadful start to the season where they went 15 games without a win.  We're not here to support or favour any particular team in Essex, but our experience at Thurrock was one of a club well run, and with genuine friendliness from those associated with it.

We waited around for as long as we could after the match but unfortunately did not get the chance to meet Paul.

Parking: Free (Large Car Park)

Ticket: £12

Programme: £2

Score: 2-1

Attendance: 225

In favour of a balanced experiment, in the following week Bob send an email to two League clubs about a former fans favourite returning to the club.  He wrote the exact same letter to Blackburn Rovers regarding the homecoming of Roque Santa Cruz, and another to QPR and Wayne Routledge's return.  A week later and we are yet to hear anything from either club.