We set out on this non-league tour with the goal of seeing every team before my 27th birthday in October. It was surprisingly disappointing then when the end of the season arrived and we hadn't managed to complete the tour.
A shame because the only ground that we failed to get to was that of Great Wakering, and there was even the chance to see them play at home on the penultimate weekend of the regular season meaning we would have completed the set of Non-League grounds in Essex that we were after way ahead of schedule. However, days before that fixture I was invited on a trip to Spain, and after thinking my decision over for all of 10 seconds I begrudgingly accepted the free holiday.
Still, next season will bring some new teams for us to see, as we'll add to our list those teams that were promoted from the Essex Senior League, not to mention Great Wakering being the first team we go to see.
It's not yet entirely clear who we need to view yet, websites at this level are infuriatingly out of date, or just refuse to load but we can speculate that we may be travelling to either Enfield, Stansted or Witham as those were the top 3 teams in that league for 2010/11.
And after that? I really need to find something else to fill my Saturday's. Perhaps a tour of Non-league teams in Kent? Hmm... now there's an idea.
Sunday 15 May 2011
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Waltham Abbey v Waltham Forest
The penultimate game of our tour saw us embarking along the M25 in search of Waltham Abbey's tiny ground 'Cappershots'. With the prospect of a fairly long journey and the need to locate a decent pub to view the Manchester derby after the game, we set off with plenty of time in hand resulting in us arriving at the ground an hour before kick-off. Not a problem we thought, we've been to many a game with time to kill and have always found something to keep us entertained. Not so at Waltham though.
We arrived to find that the ground wasn't actually open yet, and were in fact a little bemused as to where the entrance was. Sure, there was something resembling a turnstile in front of us, but all signs seemed to point to alongside the stadium, with green painted footprints on display for those that cannot read I presume. I followed those footprints step for step only to be lulled into a cul-de-sac and have to embarrasingly retrace my steps to the original entrance.
By now there was something resembling life going on, as at 2.10 a man was opening the turnstile whilst another stapled todays fixture to a board. We were officially the first paying customers to enter the tiny ground that day, and would be eventually followed by a further 67 foolhardy followers. Attendances must be regularly low here as the guy selling tickets wasn't actually sure what the prices were. Eventually I was made to part with £8 and I was in, ready to explore.
With a good 45 minutes to spare there wasn't actually too much to look at. There was no clubshop, no tea bar (ludicrous!), and only one small toilet. There was one stand, about 4 rows deep running about half the length of the pitch, and the rest was standing. A grassy knoll existed in one corner, with a sign telling us we couldn't stand there, and that was about it. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of mis-placed signs here. Along with the misleading entrance, there was a sign for gents and ladies toilets, situated above a small bush. Perhaps that was the place to go but seeing as that bush was on full view of the pitch, I decided that I'd never choose to drop my trousers there, and quickly moved on.
So what else to do in an almost empty stadium with more than 30mins to kick-off? Have a sit down of course. We wandered over to the sole stand, passing a footballer pissing against a fence along the way (as you do), and being less than impressed with the state of the pitch, but amused by the obviously drunken groundsman who had marked out the boundaries. The seating arrangements were also not quite right with numbers and rows definitely not matching up. We sat in row 4. Or row 30, if Waltham Abbey were to have you believe.
Agitated by a few young fans nearby, and increasingly hungry due to the lack of food on offer, we decided to get away from everyone and watch the game from next to the dugouts, the layout of the ground meaning we'd be looking down slightly on the pitch as well. Things had started poorly here, and only a great game would change our mood. The home side were sitting comfortably in mid-table and were taking on the team bottom of the league, who have conceded 78 times this season already so we were expecting goals.
And we were not to be disappointed as the two Waltham's played out a memorable 5-4 thriller. This sort of match is what non-league football is all about. It took just 9 minutes for Abbey to take the lead, as Emmanuel Oesi nipped in from a flick, past a static defence who were waiting for a flag that was never going to come. Sure, already it was all route one stuff from the home side, but it was proving effective against a sluggish back line.
Undeterred, Forest hit back just 2 minutes later. More good work from right midfielder Joel Palmer, who had already started brightly, and an eventual cross from the right and it was tucked home by Midfielder Healy for the equaliser.
Now, despite being level, the away dugout were obviously displeased with the way their defence were playing, and one centre-back 'Joel' seemed to be taking most of the flak. In fairness to Joel his body may have seen better days, and he was certainly finding it difficult to keep up with the pace of the game, but despite being dragged out of position on the odd occasion, he was giving it his all, this point backed up by poking his tongue out in concentration each time play edged his way. But incredibly, after one bit of 'advice'
too far from the sidelines, Joel decided he'd had enough and started walking off the pitch at the exact same time as Abbey were launching another attack. We'd never seen anything like it, especially so early on in the game. Remarkably Forest managed to avert the danger despite having being a centre-back down, but it didn't last.
In fact, just 6 minutes later and now only 30mins into the game the Home team had scored two quick fire goals to move into a commanding 3-1 lead. More calamatous defending, first to concede an needless free-kick, and then moments later a mix up between the back line and their keeper, being all the invitation that was needed.
It very soon got worse for Forest. An attempted swing at the ball in his own area from Palmer, saw the ball spin up his body and strike his arm. With nobody within 5 yards of the player, it seemed a really harsh decision to award a penalty, but by the letter of the law, perhaps the referee was correct, and with 5 minutes until half time it was now 4-1.
Down, but not out, Forest kept going and on the stroke of half time they were back in it, Palmer making amends for his mistake for the 4th goal by tapping in from close range to make it 4-2. All they had to do was see out injury time and re-group for the second half. Not to be though, as Abbey immediately restored their 3 goal margin after a fantastic chest and looping strike on the half-volley from easily 25 yards out. 5-2 at the break. Incredible!
Waltham Forest came out a different side in the second half. Well, a slightly improved side at least. We were a touch surprised to see Joel trotting out after his first half sulk, but he remained focused on the game and helped his team to a second half clean-sheet. In truth it was probably more Abbey who took their foot off the pedal, and they were probably still not too concerned when they conceded a 3rd after 65 minutes, when Zesh Bennet powered through and finished well with the aid of a deflection.
The game seemed to be petering out at 5-3 when with full-time fast approaching there was a tangle in the Abbey box resulting in left-back Daveney (who had look composed all game prior to the incident) lashing out with his boot and catching the Forest striker in the face. It was the Assistant Referee who spotted it and gave the ref no choice but to award a penalty, which was duly dispatched to make it 5-4.
The home bench were livid, none more so than the Darren Ferguson lookalike (sort of) coach, who started inexplicably berating the Assistant on his side, despite him being the furthest possible distance from the incident and having no role in giving the penalty whatsoever. For some reason I decided to side with the officials and get involved, only to be quickly snapped at and told to shut it by Fergie Jnr. Waltham Forest were unable to secure an unlikely 5th, but despite the final whistle the home bench continued to confront the officials at full time as we hastily made for the exit to escape a ground we hope we never have to return to.
We arrived to find that the ground wasn't actually open yet, and were in fact a little bemused as to where the entrance was. Sure, there was something resembling a turnstile in front of us, but all signs seemed to point to alongside the stadium, with green painted footprints on display for those that cannot read I presume. I followed those footprints step for step only to be lulled into a cul-de-sac and have to embarrasingly retrace my steps to the original entrance.
By now there was something resembling life going on, as at 2.10 a man was opening the turnstile whilst another stapled todays fixture to a board. We were officially the first paying customers to enter the tiny ground that day, and would be eventually followed by a further 67 foolhardy followers. Attendances must be regularly low here as the guy selling tickets wasn't actually sure what the prices were. Eventually I was made to part with £8 and I was in, ready to explore.
With a good 45 minutes to spare there wasn't actually too much to look at. There was no clubshop, no tea bar (ludicrous!), and only one small toilet. There was one stand, about 4 rows deep running about half the length of the pitch, and the rest was standing. A grassy knoll existed in one corner, with a sign telling us we couldn't stand there, and that was about it. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of mis-placed signs here. Along with the misleading entrance, there was a sign for gents and ladies toilets, situated above a small bush. Perhaps that was the place to go but seeing as that bush was on full view of the pitch, I decided that I'd never choose to drop my trousers there, and quickly moved on.
So what else to do in an almost empty stadium with more than 30mins to kick-off? Have a sit down of course. We wandered over to the sole stand, passing a footballer pissing against a fence along the way (as you do), and being less than impressed with the state of the pitch, but amused by the obviously drunken groundsman who had marked out the boundaries. The seating arrangements were also not quite right with numbers and rows definitely not matching up. We sat in row 4. Or row 30, if Waltham Abbey were to have you believe.
Agitated by a few young fans nearby, and increasingly hungry due to the lack of food on offer, we decided to get away from everyone and watch the game from next to the dugouts, the layout of the ground meaning we'd be looking down slightly on the pitch as well. Things had started poorly here, and only a great game would change our mood. The home side were sitting comfortably in mid-table and were taking on the team bottom of the league, who have conceded 78 times this season already so we were expecting goals.
And we were not to be disappointed as the two Waltham's played out a memorable 5-4 thriller. This sort of match is what non-league football is all about. It took just 9 minutes for Abbey to take the lead, as Emmanuel Oesi nipped in from a flick, past a static defence who were waiting for a flag that was never going to come. Sure, already it was all route one stuff from the home side, but it was proving effective against a sluggish back line.
Undeterred, Forest hit back just 2 minutes later. More good work from right midfielder Joel Palmer, who had already started brightly, and an eventual cross from the right and it was tucked home by Midfielder Healy for the equaliser.
Now, despite being level, the away dugout were obviously displeased with the way their defence were playing, and one centre-back 'Joel' seemed to be taking most of the flak. In fairness to Joel his body may have seen better days, and he was certainly finding it difficult to keep up with the pace of the game, but despite being dragged out of position on the odd occasion, he was giving it his all, this point backed up by poking his tongue out in concentration each time play edged his way. But incredibly, after one bit of 'advice'
too far from the sidelines, Joel decided he'd had enough and started walking off the pitch at the exact same time as Abbey were launching another attack. We'd never seen anything like it, especially so early on in the game. Remarkably Forest managed to avert the danger despite having being a centre-back down, but it didn't last.
In fact, just 6 minutes later and now only 30mins into the game the Home team had scored two quick fire goals to move into a commanding 3-1 lead. More calamatous defending, first to concede an needless free-kick, and then moments later a mix up between the back line and their keeper, being all the invitation that was needed.
It very soon got worse for Forest. An attempted swing at the ball in his own area from Palmer, saw the ball spin up his body and strike his arm. With nobody within 5 yards of the player, it seemed a really harsh decision to award a penalty, but by the letter of the law, perhaps the referee was correct, and with 5 minutes until half time it was now 4-1.
Down, but not out, Forest kept going and on the stroke of half time they were back in it, Palmer making amends for his mistake for the 4th goal by tapping in from close range to make it 4-2. All they had to do was see out injury time and re-group for the second half. Not to be though, as Abbey immediately restored their 3 goal margin after a fantastic chest and looping strike on the half-volley from easily 25 yards out. 5-2 at the break. Incredible!
Waltham Forest came out a different side in the second half. Well, a slightly improved side at least. We were a touch surprised to see Joel trotting out after his first half sulk, but he remained focused on the game and helped his team to a second half clean-sheet. In truth it was probably more Abbey who took their foot off the pedal, and they were probably still not too concerned when they conceded a 3rd after 65 minutes, when Zesh Bennet powered through and finished well with the aid of a deflection.
The game seemed to be petering out at 5-3 when with full-time fast approaching there was a tangle in the Abbey box resulting in left-back Daveney (who had look composed all game prior to the incident) lashing out with his boot and catching the Forest striker in the face. It was the Assistant Referee who spotted it and gave the ref no choice but to award a penalty, which was duly dispatched to make it 5-4.
The home bench were livid, none more so than the Darren Ferguson lookalike (sort of) coach, who started inexplicably berating the Assistant on his side, despite him being the furthest possible distance from the incident and having no role in giving the penalty whatsoever. For some reason I decided to side with the officials and get involved, only to be quickly snapped at and told to shut it by Fergie Jnr. Waltham Forest were unable to secure an unlikely 5th, but despite the final whistle the home bench continued to confront the officials at full time as we hastily made for the exit to escape a ground we hope we never have to return to.
Essex Senior Cup Final 2011
Billericay Town v Aveley FC
Not part of our scehdule this game, but when on a tour of Essex clubs, who would dare turn down the opportunity of seeing a cup final?
And so it was after 4 days of unseasonally scorching April weather, we approached Ship Lane (for the second time this season) accompanied by heavy rain clouds and a brisk wind. Trust our luck that the weather should decide to turn, myself finding it particularly incredulous after being sat sunbathing merely hours before.
Fortunately though the rain would ease by the time the teams took to the pitch, and despite the breeze, it would still be a darn sight warmer than the last time we were here to see Thurrock play.
There seemed to be something fishy going on as both Tuna and Salmon were missing from the Aveley line-up, and yet we'd only seen them play a few weeks before. We quickly realised though that at this level a lot of the players move from club to club on short term deals meaning it was highly likely that a fair few of the team that we witnessed lose to Wealdstone were probably cup-tied for tonight.
We both predicted a comfortable Billericay victory knowing full well that despite Aveley's commitment to the cause, they lack any real penetration going forward. It seemed their best chance of a positive result would be to keep things tight at the back.
Billericay scored after 60 seconds. No mean feat seeing as it was from a free kick by defender Flanagan who had to wait at least half that time for the Aveley wall to assemble themselves. Unperturbed, Flanagan cooly curled his shot around the wall and neatly into the bottom corner.
I would say it silenced the Aveley crowd, but they didn't seem to have one, just a handful of young fans. To their credit though, one of them had brought a drum to literally try to drum up some support, using it sparingly in the first half, and annoyingly in the second.
So after 1 minute the game was effectively over, but to their credit Aveley fought as hard as they could, with Orlando Smith once again being their most threatening player, but a lack of composure in front of goal thwarted any attempts at a comeback.
We compared the game to that of the 1997 FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Middlesbrough. In that showpiece, Chelsea scored inside a minute and added a second to kill the game, sending the 40,000 or so Chelsea fans into deliruim. Much the same here, Billericay eventually grabbed a second, resulting in 450 or so Billericay Town supporters chanting with glee as they knew they'd be bringing the cup home for the first time in 35 years.
It was a little disheartening to see the Aveley players trudge off at full time to collect their runners-up medals with barely any of their own fans to greet them. Credit though to the opposition support who stood and clapped them as they approached, and despite only being a Non-League Final, the obvious dejection on the players faces was for all to see.
But soon it was time for the winners to approach, and quite possibly the worlds largest trophy was lifted in delight by club captain Micah Hyde. He may be in the twilight of his career, a former Premier League player, a former International player in fact, but winning is winning, and Hyde was clearly enjoying the victory as much as his less prestigious teammates.
Not part of our scehdule this game, but when on a tour of Essex clubs, who would dare turn down the opportunity of seeing a cup final?
And so it was after 4 days of unseasonally scorching April weather, we approached Ship Lane (for the second time this season) accompanied by heavy rain clouds and a brisk wind. Trust our luck that the weather should decide to turn, myself finding it particularly incredulous after being sat sunbathing merely hours before.
Fortunately though the rain would ease by the time the teams took to the pitch, and despite the breeze, it would still be a darn sight warmer than the last time we were here to see Thurrock play.
There seemed to be something fishy going on as both Tuna and Salmon were missing from the Aveley line-up, and yet we'd only seen them play a few weeks before. We quickly realised though that at this level a lot of the players move from club to club on short term deals meaning it was highly likely that a fair few of the team that we witnessed lose to Wealdstone were probably cup-tied for tonight.
We both predicted a comfortable Billericay victory knowing full well that despite Aveley's commitment to the cause, they lack any real penetration going forward. It seemed their best chance of a positive result would be to keep things tight at the back.
Billericay scored after 60 seconds. No mean feat seeing as it was from a free kick by defender Flanagan who had to wait at least half that time for the Aveley wall to assemble themselves. Unperturbed, Flanagan cooly curled his shot around the wall and neatly into the bottom corner.
I would say it silenced the Aveley crowd, but they didn't seem to have one, just a handful of young fans. To their credit though, one of them had brought a drum to literally try to drum up some support, using it sparingly in the first half, and annoyingly in the second.
So after 1 minute the game was effectively over, but to their credit Aveley fought as hard as they could, with Orlando Smith once again being their most threatening player, but a lack of composure in front of goal thwarted any attempts at a comeback.
We compared the game to that of the 1997 FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Middlesbrough. In that showpiece, Chelsea scored inside a minute and added a second to kill the game, sending the 40,000 or so Chelsea fans into deliruim. Much the same here, Billericay eventually grabbed a second, resulting in 450 or so Billericay Town supporters chanting with glee as they knew they'd be bringing the cup home for the first time in 35 years.
It was a little disheartening to see the Aveley players trudge off at full time to collect their runners-up medals with barely any of their own fans to greet them. Credit though to the opposition support who stood and clapped them as they approached, and despite only being a Non-League Final, the obvious dejection on the players faces was for all to see.
But soon it was time for the winners to approach, and quite possibly the worlds largest trophy was lifted in delight by club captain Micah Hyde. He may be in the twilight of his career, a former Premier League player, a former International player in fact, but winning is winning, and Hyde was clearly enjoying the victory as much as his less prestigious teammates.
Harlow Town v Romford
Our longest drive of the tour this week as we were off to see Harlow Town. Originally omitted from the list due to an oversight by me, but reinstated after a tip from Tony at Thurrock. Googlemaps stated about an hours drive so we set off in pursuit of our goal with plenty of time in hand. Googlemaps however seems to cater for those who like to drive along as if they have a caravan attached to the rear of their car, as we found ourselves pulling up way in advance of kick-off. So a needlessly early depature time this week, made all the more annoying by the fact that the game was to start at 1pm to avoid clashing with the Wales v England European Qualifying match at 3pm. I'm just grouchy because I was hungover (again).
Harlow's ground is relatively new, the team having only relocated to Barrows Farm in 2006. Sure, it looked nice, it looked modern, but then it lacked character and a sense of a close-knit semi-professional team. The ground was dominated by one large stand with comfortable seating, and it must have been expensive to build as they were charging £2.50 for a matchday programme! I suppose they've got to make their money back somehow.
Before kick-off and with 45 minutes still to go we took a slower than usual walk around the ground. For those of you that haven't visited a Non-League ground before, they are all rather similar, and generally do not need three quarters of an hour put aside to spend on navigating them. So before long we'd come full circle and sat shivering at the back of the stand awaiting the arrival of the players. One humourous observation of note was that Harlow appear to have gone for a less conventional 'conservatory' style for their dugouts, meaning if you are one of the substitutes that day, unless you get there early and take prime position in the middle of the bench, then you'll more than likely end up having to peer through a window to see the match.
Eventually the players appeared. We knew they were coming as an old lady was summoned to gently pull out the tunnel from which they would emerge. It seemed cruel to make this woman do this job, but all was well about 20minutes later as it became clear that she was actually being paid for her occupation in the form of a cone of chips that were brought over for her to enjoy.
Accompanying the two sides onto the pitch was a man over the tannoy who had quite possibly the most deflated tone I'd ever heard. From previous experience it's usually this guys job to whip up a bit of a frenzy, and make what will quite possibly be a dull encounter, sound like the greatest spectacle to hit the area in years. If only for a few minutes, this man has the most important job in football, as his tones can help influence the crowd that are there, meaning it's important to keep the energy levels up, especially when the majority of your attendance are aged 65+ anyway and prone to dozing off even during more exciteable occasions in life. Alas, no. Because of this man as the game commenced, I was now feeling bored as well as cold.
The game being underway didn't really change things at first as it was a very stop/start affair from the outset. A crude challenge in the opening minutes resulted in a booking and a lengthy stoppage, and minutes later Romford's striker was inadvertently caught in the head by the home 'keepers left knee as he rose to claim an overhit throughball. These incidents would prove key later on though as neither player could fully recover resulting in Romford being forced into making 2 changes after only 12 minutes.
And it was moments after these changes that Harlow opened the scoring. Strikers Lee Roache and Bertie Brayley looked a class partnership all afternoon as they grabbed a brace each, and it was Roache that got the first with a free header from barely 6 yeards. This goal finally helped bring some atmosphere to the ground as the small contingent of hardcore fans (well, the annoying loud ones anyway), went crazy and began chorus after chorus of typical terraced chants.
The tone was set for the rest of the game, it was 2-0 just before half time as Harlow this time flexed their muscles from a corner kick. Aside from the two goals the first half followed a familiar pattern, Harlow would play some neat and tidy football, they'd get the ball out wide to their number 7, and he'd endeavour to put in the worst ball possible to prevent the scoreline from becoming embarrasing. He did improve ever so slightly in the second half by assisting Harlow's third, only to then be hauled off to take his place in the Home Team's conservatory.
Harlows last though was a goal of real quality, Brailey picking the ball up in the centre of the opponents half, and ignoring options both left and right of him, unleashing an unstoppable drive into the roof of the net from 25 yards out. Cue, more raptures from the crowd as they started singing 'Whats that coming over the hill, is it promotion?'
Romford did grab a consolation though on 72 minutes, but it was nothing more than that. Up until that point Harlow had looked solid at the back, as they were commanded by former Southend United centre-back Leo Roget. At 33 he didn't get about the pitch as much, in fact he hardly moved all game, but his mere presence was enough to deter the oppositions rare forays at goal. Sitting a row in front of us was Leo's wife and kids, a point noticed by us as the little girl asked 'why is Daddy being taken off?' when Roget was given a breather with 10 minutes to go.
Our longest drive of the tour this week as we were off to see Harlow Town. Originally omitted from the list due to an oversight by me, but reinstated after a tip from Tony at Thurrock. Googlemaps stated about an hours drive so we set off in pursuit of our goal with plenty of time in hand. Googlemaps however seems to cater for those who like to drive along as if they have a caravan attached to the rear of their car, as we found ourselves pulling up way in advance of kick-off. So a needlessly early depature time this week, made all the more annoying by the fact that the game was to start at 1pm to avoid clashing with the Wales v England European Qualifying match at 3pm. I'm just grouchy because I was hungover (again).
Harlow's ground is relatively new, the team having only relocated to Barrows Farm in 2006. Sure, it looked nice, it looked modern, but then it lacked character and a sense of a close-knit semi-professional team. The ground was dominated by one large stand with comfortable seating, and it must have been expensive to build as they were charging £2.50 for a matchday programme! I suppose they've got to make their money back somehow.
Before kick-off and with 45 minutes still to go we took a slower than usual walk around the ground. For those of you that haven't visited a Non-League ground before, they are all rather similar, and generally do not need three quarters of an hour put aside to spend on navigating them. So before long we'd come full circle and sat shivering at the back of the stand awaiting the arrival of the players. One humourous observation of note was that Harlow appear to have gone for a less conventional 'conservatory' style for their dugouts, meaning if you are one of the substitutes that day, unless you get there early and take prime position in the middle of the bench, then you'll more than likely end up having to peer through a window to see the match.
Eventually the players appeared. We knew they were coming as an old lady was summoned to gently pull out the tunnel from which they would emerge. It seemed cruel to make this woman do this job, but all was well about 20minutes later as it became clear that she was actually being paid for her occupation in the form of a cone of chips that were brought over for her to enjoy.
Accompanying the two sides onto the pitch was a man over the tannoy who had quite possibly the most deflated tone I'd ever heard. From previous experience it's usually this guys job to whip up a bit of a frenzy, and make what will quite possibly be a dull encounter, sound like the greatest spectacle to hit the area in years. If only for a few minutes, this man has the most important job in football, as his tones can help influence the crowd that are there, meaning it's important to keep the energy levels up, especially when the majority of your attendance are aged 65+ anyway and prone to dozing off even during more exciteable occasions in life. Alas, no. Because of this man as the game commenced, I was now feeling bored as well as cold.
The game being underway didn't really change things at first as it was a very stop/start affair from the outset. A crude challenge in the opening minutes resulted in a booking and a lengthy stoppage, and minutes later Romford's striker was inadvertently caught in the head by the home 'keepers left knee as he rose to claim an overhit throughball. These incidents would prove key later on though as neither player could fully recover resulting in Romford being forced into making 2 changes after only 12 minutes.
And it was moments after these changes that Harlow opened the scoring. Strikers Lee Roache and Bertie Brayley looked a class partnership all afternoon as they grabbed a brace each, and it was Roache that got the first with a free header from barely 6 yeards. This goal finally helped bring some atmosphere to the ground as the small contingent of hardcore fans (well, the annoying loud ones anyway), went crazy and began chorus after chorus of typical terraced chants.
The tone was set for the rest of the game, it was 2-0 just before half time as Harlow this time flexed their muscles from a corner kick. Aside from the two goals the first half followed a familiar pattern, Harlow would play some neat and tidy football, they'd get the ball out wide to their number 7, and he'd endeavour to put in the worst ball possible to prevent the scoreline from becoming embarrasing. He did improve ever so slightly in the second half by assisting Harlow's third, only to then be hauled off to take his place in the Home Team's conservatory.
Harlows last though was a goal of real quality, Brailey picking the ball up in the centre of the opponents half, and ignoring options both left and right of him, unleashing an unstoppable drive into the roof of the net from 25 yards out. Cue, more raptures from the crowd as they started singing 'Whats that coming over the hill, is it promotion?'
Romford did grab a consolation though on 72 minutes, but it was nothing more than that. Up until that point Harlow had looked solid at the back, as they were commanded by former Southend United centre-back Leo Roget. At 33 he didn't get about the pitch as much, in fact he hardly moved all game, but his mere presence was enough to deter the oppositions rare forays at goal. Sitting a row in front of us was Leo's wife and kids, a point noticed by us as the little girl asked 'why is Daddy being taken off?' when Roget was given a breather with 10 minutes to go.
Thursday 24 March 2011
Heybridge Swifts v Grays
Since the beginning of this tour we've been struggling somewhat to clearly settle on the boundaries for the teams we need to visit. In the past there would have been many more clubs to get to, but over the years Greater London has slowly but surely advanced on the territory of what were Essex clubs. Indeed, some of the club websites still listed their team as being in Essex. But we've learnt over the weeks not to trust these websites, they are quite often left unattended and display out of date information.
This week we slipped up and were almost left without a fixture. We were minutes away from embarking on a trip to AFC Hornchurch when I realised that they are in fact now a part of Greater London and not our County. Luckily for us there was one other game available on this particular weekend. A game that couldn't have suited us better. We were off to see Heybridge Swifts host Grays, a stroke of luck meaning that we would now be able to see Grays play (Grays being another Essex team, derived of their own stadium so originally omitted from our list).
We set off early because we wanted to view the Tottenham v West Ham game before the Non-League fun began and rolled up at the ground a full 2 and a half hours before kick-off. Getting out at the currently empty car park we decided to see if the clubhouse was showing the game. We spotted the turnstiles, but they were closed, so just ambled on round the side and before we knew it we were in the grounds. It was strange, there were no other barriers from even stopping us walking down the players tunnel if we wanted to. I suppose the fact the ground even had a players tunnel was an achievement in itself. We'd go on to watch the Premier League game and then have the freedom of the grounds to wander out and take our place pitchside without having to pay an entrance fee.
Grays are currently managed by West Ham legend Julian Dicks, so perhaps it was no surprise to see him appear along with his squad to watch the game with us. We did perhaps wonder if this was the correct way for a team to prepare before kick-off as the Heybridge team were first to go out and warm up whilst the away team were fixated on the screens indoors.
As the Premier League game drew to a disappointing close with the score still at 0-0, attention turned to Non-Leagues first ever bookies unfolding to our left. It was the first one we'd spotted anyway, as a guy in a jumper that would surely not be worn outside of that clubhouse, set about chalking up odds for the first goalscorer for Heybridge that day. I wouldn't entirely trust his calculation methods though so opted out of a cheeky bet on the premise that the odds were being altered at an alarming rate every few minutes.
As for the game itself, well it was a peculiar match, one with little to go on due to the absense of a match programme (these are only available as you enter through the turnstiles). To make matters worse, wherever we stood we were staring into the sun so couldn't make out much anyway. Granted, we could have positioned ourselves on the opposite side of the pitch, but when you've waited a good few months for warmth at these games, you'd have to be a fool not to jump at the opportunity to be blinded in favour of a clear but cold view of a sub-standard game of football.
The majority of the Grays fans were in sync with us, standing as they were a little further down the touchline. Despite having to squint to see what was going on out there, they still seemed to know better than the linesman, and aimed their abuse in his direction throughout proceedings, despite the majority of the controversial decisions having nothing to do with him.
So with a lack of a teamsheet we identified the players in our own novel way. Heybridge were kept solid at the back by the presence of a fat Ian Walker look-alike, a sight not lost on a few others in the crowd who pointed this out to him with glee. Grays best lookalike was a Sami Hyppia type figure at the back, even though on the rare occasion he wandered over to where we were standing he actually only looked about 17. Still, Hyppia Jnr would be at the centre of the majority of Grays defensive errors, as he often attempted to foul his man in preference to going for the ball. He failed miserably at either option in fairness.
One redeeming feature was the fantastic yet unneccessary volume of the tannoy system. Because of this, ourselves, and anyone in the properties placed within a 5 mile radius of the ground were probably all aware that winger Lewis had opened the scoring for the home team after barely 5 minutes. Grays had started strongly but a swift Swifts counter had led to the enigmatic midfielder making a mockery of his portly size and outpacing the Grays backline to open the scoring.
Heybridges' second was a goal of pure quality, another pacy break and more controlled passing released Lewis again, only for him to this time cross for the incoming Reece Morgan to finish with a delightful header. 2-0 at the break, and really it was all that the Home side deserved, their patient build-up suiting the conditions far more than the aimless long ball tactics of Julian Dicks' men.
However, these two teams came into this game locked in mid-table, both on 44 points, and Grays appeared in the second half to want to prove that their hosts were not a better side. They pulled an early goal back and kept pressurising for an equaliser, only to eventually be the masters of their own downfall as another defensive error let in a Heybridge substitute to put the gloss on a 3-1 win.
Throughout the game balls kept flying over the hoardings, not an uncommon occurance at this level, and with minutes to go one of these balls fell neatly at our feet, with Bob taking the opportunity to grab it as a souvenir of our day out.
*pictures to follow shortly
This week we slipped up and were almost left without a fixture. We were minutes away from embarking on a trip to AFC Hornchurch when I realised that they are in fact now a part of Greater London and not our County. Luckily for us there was one other game available on this particular weekend. A game that couldn't have suited us better. We were off to see Heybridge Swifts host Grays, a stroke of luck meaning that we would now be able to see Grays play (Grays being another Essex team, derived of their own stadium so originally omitted from our list).
We set off early because we wanted to view the Tottenham v West Ham game before the Non-League fun began and rolled up at the ground a full 2 and a half hours before kick-off. Getting out at the currently empty car park we decided to see if the clubhouse was showing the game. We spotted the turnstiles, but they were closed, so just ambled on round the side and before we knew it we were in the grounds. It was strange, there were no other barriers from even stopping us walking down the players tunnel if we wanted to. I suppose the fact the ground even had a players tunnel was an achievement in itself. We'd go on to watch the Premier League game and then have the freedom of the grounds to wander out and take our place pitchside without having to pay an entrance fee.
Grays are currently managed by West Ham legend Julian Dicks, so perhaps it was no surprise to see him appear along with his squad to watch the game with us. We did perhaps wonder if this was the correct way for a team to prepare before kick-off as the Heybridge team were first to go out and warm up whilst the away team were fixated on the screens indoors.
As the Premier League game drew to a disappointing close with the score still at 0-0, attention turned to Non-Leagues first ever bookies unfolding to our left. It was the first one we'd spotted anyway, as a guy in a jumper that would surely not be worn outside of that clubhouse, set about chalking up odds for the first goalscorer for Heybridge that day. I wouldn't entirely trust his calculation methods though so opted out of a cheeky bet on the premise that the odds were being altered at an alarming rate every few minutes.
As for the game itself, well it was a peculiar match, one with little to go on due to the absense of a match programme (these are only available as you enter through the turnstiles). To make matters worse, wherever we stood we were staring into the sun so couldn't make out much anyway. Granted, we could have positioned ourselves on the opposite side of the pitch, but when you've waited a good few months for warmth at these games, you'd have to be a fool not to jump at the opportunity to be blinded in favour of a clear but cold view of a sub-standard game of football.
The majority of the Grays fans were in sync with us, standing as they were a little further down the touchline. Despite having to squint to see what was going on out there, they still seemed to know better than the linesman, and aimed their abuse in his direction throughout proceedings, despite the majority of the controversial decisions having nothing to do with him.
So with a lack of a teamsheet we identified the players in our own novel way. Heybridge were kept solid at the back by the presence of a fat Ian Walker look-alike, a sight not lost on a few others in the crowd who pointed this out to him with glee. Grays best lookalike was a Sami Hyppia type figure at the back, even though on the rare occasion he wandered over to where we were standing he actually only looked about 17. Still, Hyppia Jnr would be at the centre of the majority of Grays defensive errors, as he often attempted to foul his man in preference to going for the ball. He failed miserably at either option in fairness.
One redeeming feature was the fantastic yet unneccessary volume of the tannoy system. Because of this, ourselves, and anyone in the properties placed within a 5 mile radius of the ground were probably all aware that winger Lewis had opened the scoring for the home team after barely 5 minutes. Grays had started strongly but a swift Swifts counter had led to the enigmatic midfielder making a mockery of his portly size and outpacing the Grays backline to open the scoring.
Heybridges' second was a goal of pure quality, another pacy break and more controlled passing released Lewis again, only for him to this time cross for the incoming Reece Morgan to finish with a delightful header. 2-0 at the break, and really it was all that the Home side deserved, their patient build-up suiting the conditions far more than the aimless long ball tactics of Julian Dicks' men.
However, these two teams came into this game locked in mid-table, both on 44 points, and Grays appeared in the second half to want to prove that their hosts were not a better side. They pulled an early goal back and kept pressurising for an equaliser, only to eventually be the masters of their own downfall as another defensive error let in a Heybridge substitute to put the gloss on a 3-1 win.
Throughout the game balls kept flying over the hoardings, not an uncommon occurance at this level, and with minutes to go one of these balls fell neatly at our feet, with Bob taking the opportunity to grab it as a souvenir of our day out.
*pictures to follow shortly
Aveley v Wealdstone
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| Unbelievably this was the view from outside the ground |
Aveley v Wealdstone
Saturday 12th March, and for the first time it wasn't finger numbingly cold outside. And so despite the truly awful game of football that unfolded before us, it was definitely one of the more positive non-league outings we'd experienced this season.
Unlike last weeks rush to Canvey, we gave ourselves plenty of time to arrive and soak up the atmosphere of our surroundings. We already had half an idea about where we were going as Mill Field is merely a few minutes drive from where we had visited Thurrock earlier on our tour. Not that you'd necessarily be aware of it though, as the tiny ground is tucked away out of sight and mind from the locals.
If ever you're looking to get into non-league football and are looking for a team to follow, but are worried about the costs of a season piling up, then I'd recommend picking Aveley as your team. That's got nothing to do with the ticket prices, prices here are the same as everywhere else in the area. It's got more to do with the fact that the boundary of the ground is marked out with such low fencing that one could quite comfortably view all the action from the wrong side of the turnstiles. Not us though, we were eager to get in and see in detail our 11th game of the season.
Aveley have a strange ground, the pitch is flanked on either side by a large amount of unused grass, resulting in you feeling distant from the action no matter what side of the pitch you stand. Behind one goal was proof if needed of Aveley's poor goals to game ratio at home this season, as the fence panels that were left had been completely annihilated by wayward shots. For obvious reasons we decided we wouldn’t be viewing the game from here today. Oh no, we had our hearts set on trying out the old fashioned wooden stand that we passed on the way in. We ambled around the pitch passing the free-flowing named 'The Veolia Mardyke Trust Stand', wondering if any fan had previously attempted to incorporate such a mouthful into a terrace chant.
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| Appetising Food Menu |
Before settling in our spot for the day, we headed over to grab a bite to eat. The menu here was less than inviting, with no prices and seemingly very little in the way of edible food on sale. It was basically a toss up between going for a 'Umbo Hot Og' or a 'Ham U' with perhaps some 'Soft Rinks' thrown in as well. After much deliberation we slumped for the 'Umbo Hot Ogs and then took our seats. The wooden stand we'd spotted from afar was complimented with wooden seats, and very uncomfortable wooden seats at that. Still, we felt as if we were welcome here, we were not outsiders, there was no tension from other fans, it almost felt as if we weren't in Essex . A huge part of this may well have been due to the warblings of Aveley's stadium announcer, the old lady making small jokes and entertaining the kids that obviously worshipped her whilst simultaneously annoying her at every home game.
It was as we were trying to make out and mark down the teamsheets on the back of the matchday programme that we saw him. A strange big headed fellow, wandering around the ground, waving aimlessly and at nobody in particular. It was our very first matchday mascot! Who knows for sure whether or not he is a regular here, he may well have just have been drafted in to help raise money for Comic Relief that week (not that he was doing a very good job as the bucket he was shaking looked as if it may have cost more than the amount people donated), but we were pleased to see him even if he seemed less than enthusiastic to be there.
Despite the distractions of the worlds worst mascot we did manage to jot down the full teamsheet, with Aveley opting to pair Salmon and Tuna up front. We thought at first that there maybe something fishy going on here, but lo-and-behold the programme listed them, so they must be real.
I'm writing a lot about the surroundings here because nothing much happened in the game. There was one goal, an opportunist strike from Wealdstone on the half hour mark but that was about your lot. Now there's coming out and covering your front post, and there's coming out and leaving the goal gaping. Unfortunately for Aveley their 'keeper opted for the latter.
To compliment the mascot and help raise money for Comic Relief next Friday, the teams were also to play with a red ball for the duration of the game. The ball itself though appeared very lightweight and difficult to control, floating as it did all over the pitch once the game was underway.
With the teamsheet jotted down in front of us, we were able to identify the players in front of us with ease, something that has been lacking from many of the games we have attended. Aveley's one flair player was Orlando Smith, but he spent much of the first half hugging the touchline and failing to create any chances for the the front two. In fact their best and only chance of the half came when the two strikers teamed up, Salmon, reeled in a couple of defenders and layed the red balloon on a plate for Tuna, who failed to gobble up the chance, blasting as he did high and handsome over the bar.
Half-time soon came around with very little else in the way of entertainment, bar a potential penalty appeal for the away side that was turned down flatly by an unimpressed referee.
The referee's next real involvement of the day would be to pull out the lucky raffle ticket on his way off the pitch at half time, netting a lucky recipient the £25 top prize.
As we waited for the teams to reappear we at last spotted the stereotypical man and his dog that is so often associated with football at this level. Great joy was also taken in seeing a group of kids invade the pitch to set up a game of 'Wembley', and due to the lack of stewards on hand, got away with a good 10 mins of play before the stadium announcer scared them off.
The teams were soon out for the second half, but Aveley couldn't provide enough quality going forward to get back into the game. To put it bluntly, both Salmon and Tuna looked like fish out of water as they continually struggled to breach the Wealdstone net, the latter being taken off before too long. Flair player Orlando bloomed as the half went on, but even his forays away from the touchline failed to spark life into a limited Aveley team.
*pictures to follow shortly
To compliment the mascot and help raise money for Comic Relief next Friday, the teams were also to play with a red ball for the duration of the game. The ball itself though appeared very lightweight and difficult to control, floating as it did all over the pitch once the game was underway.
With the teamsheet jotted down in front of us, we were able to identify the players in front of us with ease, something that has been lacking from many of the games we have attended. Aveley's one flair player was Orlando Smith, but he spent much of the first half hugging the touchline and failing to create any chances for the the front two. In fact their best and only chance of the half came when the two strikers teamed up, Salmon, reeled in a couple of defenders and layed the red balloon on a plate for Tuna, who failed to gobble up the chance, blasting as he did high and handsome over the bar.
Half-time soon came around with very little else in the way of entertainment, bar a potential penalty appeal for the away side that was turned down flatly by an unimpressed referee.
The referee's next real involvement of the day would be to pull out the lucky raffle ticket on his way off the pitch at half time, netting a lucky recipient the £25 top prize.
As we waited for the teams to reappear we at last spotted the stereotypical man and his dog that is so often associated with football at this level. Great joy was also taken in seeing a group of kids invade the pitch to set up a game of 'Wembley', and due to the lack of stewards on hand, got away with a good 10 mins of play before the stadium announcer scared them off.
The teams were soon out for the second half, but Aveley couldn't provide enough quality going forward to get back into the game. To put it bluntly, both Salmon and Tuna looked like fish out of water as they continually struggled to breach the Wealdstone net, the latter being taken off before too long. Flair player Orlando bloomed as the half went on, but even his forays away from the touchline failed to spark life into a limited Aveley team.
*pictures to follow shortly
Saturday 12 March 2011
Canvey Island v Horsham
Canvey Island v Horsham - 05/03/11
It's a week now since we re-traced our steps back to the Island to see Canvey play again, this time at their home ground - The Brockwell Stadium. In just a couple of hours time we will be heading off to finally see Aveley play, a team we've been trying but failing to get to for many weeks now due to weather and fixture scheduling that went against us.
And that was it for the first half, the only other memorable moment came when one of the players hoofed the ball out of the stadium for the umpteenth time, only for a new ball to be thrown over from the dugout, with that too bouncing straight out and into the streets beyond.
From our higher viewpoint we could see more clearly the shortcomings of both teams. Neither side have set the division alight this season, and on this form it was evident why. Granted, by now Horsham were being forced to chased the game but even so some of their defending was comical as Canvey found themselves with men over on more than one occasion. But The Islanders themselves were regularly guilty of making bad decisions in front of goal and wasted many chances. Eventually though, they found their third with about half an hour to go. Hallett - who had a very good game - found space down the right flank and drilled an inviting ball into the box where a waiting Alex Rhodes expertly brought it down and finished first time from about 12 yards out.
Horsham were down and out, but to their credit kept going and grabbed a goal back with 20 minutes to go, encouraging the small away contingency to cheekily claim that they were going to win 4-3. In reality that was to be the end of the goals for the day, and the home support saw their team through to the final whistle with a non-stop chant of 'Yellows, Yellows' for the last 15 minutes.
Car Park: Free but full
Ticket: £10
Programme: £2
It's a week now since we re-traced our steps back to the Island to see Canvey play again, this time at their home ground - The Brockwell Stadium. In just a couple of hours time we will be heading off to finally see Aveley play, a team we've been trying but failing to get to for many weeks now due to weather and fixture scheduling that went against us.
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| Canvey's hideous sponsored car |
In a fashion typical to me, i've become lazy and neglected to keep up to date with events, so am eager to get last weeks game in writing before the fixtures begin to pile up on me.
It was something of a strange experience at Canvey last week. With both myself and Bob committed to other things that day (I had a severe hangover to recover from in the morning and Bob had a dinner date to shoot off to immediately after the game), we found ourselves rushing in and out of the ground in as short amount as time as possible. Perhaps this was the major reason for the feeling of emptyness and lack of atmosphere to the game. Or it could have been the idea that Canvey took control of the game with two first half goals, and from there the match as a contest was effectively over. Horsham showed plenty of endeavour and acquired some neat touches on the ball, all without seemingly believing they could grab something from the game as they lacked a severe cutting edge in the final third.
So it was that this bizarrely underwhelming game unfolded in front of us on yet another bitterly cold day. In fairness temperatures were indeed up on recent weeks, but the location of the pitch being just a few hundred metres from the sea wall ensured a constant reminder that spring is a good way off yet as the sea breeze kept things as uncomfortable as possible.
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Plenty of leg room in the first half |
After pulling up with minutes to spare, and wasting that time on looking and laughing at Canvey's very own sponsored car, we were still shuffling through the turnstiles as the teams took to the pitch. A lot has changed at this ground since I last visited in the 90's, a huge concrete terracing area behind the goal being the most noticeable renovation. Grabbing a tea we opted to head for a seat in the front row near the centre circle. Despite the cold, we had ample leg room and was in constant earshot of the exchanges between players and referee. It was from here that we witnessed Canvey race into a 2-0 lead in the first 20 minutes, something they didn't really deserve as it was far from a controlling performance from them.
Still, the opener came from a slightly dubious free-kick given on the edge of the Horsham box. From where we were situated it looked as if the defending team didn't line their wall up correctly, allowing Rob King the simple task of stroking the ball into the net, past an unsighted goalkeeper. And with despite only 6 minutes on the clock, it was effectively game over as Canvey spent the rest of the match looking very comfortable and always in control. The scoreline was doubled on 22 minutes when Jason Hallett beat the offside trap and the oncoming goalkeeper to poke the ball home from 6 yards out. The public announcer excitedly declared it to be Hallett's second of the game, before having to embarrassingly backtrack as he realised his error.
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| Great close up views of the action too |
Despite the comfortable circumstances the fans were still constantly getting on the referees back, who was goaded with some rather friendly abuse by individuals in the stand. 'You're a pain in the neck ref', and 'you're ruining the game' were just two of the so called insults thrown his way. That was until a man just to the right of us confirmed that he thought the referee was indeed a wanker after he gave a 50/50 to the away team. The folk of Canvey must have high expectations of match officials because compared to some of the performances we've seen over the weeks, the man in black here remained in control, gave things as he saw them, and was constantly talking to the players and explaining his decisions to them.
And that was it for the first half, the only other memorable moment came when one of the players hoofed the ball out of the stadium for the umpteenth time, only for a new ball to be thrown over from the dugout, with that too bouncing straight out and into the streets beyond.
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| There's that boat again! |
As much as we wanted to stay and in our seats and listen to more non-sensical bullshit coming from the mouths of a few individuals, we wanted to try out the new terracing and so re-located there, standing as high up and far back as possible. From here we had an open view of the whole pitch and the Sea Wall in the distance, allowing us to pick up on our previous game of 'Spot the boat in the background' that we had invented at East Thurrock, during lulls in the action.
From our higher viewpoint we could see more clearly the shortcomings of both teams. Neither side have set the division alight this season, and on this form it was evident why. Granted, by now Horsham were being forced to chased the game but even so some of their defending was comical as Canvey found themselves with men over on more than one occasion. But The Islanders themselves were regularly guilty of making bad decisions in front of goal and wasted many chances. Eventually though, they found their third with about half an hour to go. Hallett - who had a very good game - found space down the right flank and drilled an inviting ball into the box where a waiting Alex Rhodes expertly brought it down and finished first time from about 12 yards out. Horsham were down and out, but to their credit kept going and grabbed a goal back with 20 minutes to go, encouraging the small away contingency to cheekily claim that they were going to win 4-3. In reality that was to be the end of the goals for the day, and the home support saw their team through to the final whistle with a non-stop chant of 'Yellows, Yellows' for the last 15 minutes.
Car Park: Free but full
Ticket: £10
Programme: £2
Score: 3-1
Attendance: 327
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